My Life

Moved to

2010-03-18T12:39:00.003+08:00

click picture

I wish someone can tell why?

2010-02-26T00:19:00.006+08:00

I am so jealous!
The more I see the more I look.
those pictures.
there are so many.
Why?
My head is filled with what ifs?
what if he likes them
What if he will
What if
AHHHHH!!!

The more what if i think of , the more troubled I get.
why I am doing this?
I have no idea!!
I wish I can not do this.
Why can I just leave his life alone!
I am so annoying.
what am I doing?
I have no idea.
maybe I still cannot get my senses rite.
that he dun belong to me or with me.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I prayed that you will help me. Cleanse me from jealousy and anger. Cleanse my mind and my brain. cleanse me that I will never sin again. I pray that u purify me once more. please Lord. I begged for your forgiveness.

I wish someone can tell why?

2010-02-18T00:44:00.004+08:00

I feel there is no longer any reason to like you!
i have no idea why I feel this way
Sometimes i wonder whether we are living in the same world.
Now that we are busy with our own different things
I feel so inferior.
yeah u are in JC and all
And here I am heading to a poly
Looking at you in the uniform is awesome
but it makes me sad
knowing that you are in a JC means there are so many girls
OH MAN
yes I am jealous
Who knows when you will start liking those girls
yeah i am selfish

Why do I feel so inferior??
In the past, You used to make me confident n complete n perfect
but now,
you make me so useless n dumb
What happen?
Can someone tell me?

Maybe its true
we lost the connection.
maybe I was just the only one messing my own feelings
maybe it is just me liking you
and you are as always a blur sotong in your own bubble.
It is not like I want it
You just seem so
I dunno
Maybe it is my own wishful thinking, but seriously I dun mind.

Burning up for HIM

2010-01-03T23:03:00.002+08:00

Candles is the nicest things to see.

Anyway, school is starting for those sec schools peeps.
It's quite saddening to see them go back to the school mood.
Some of them look so sad n some still rushing for work
I am so glad I have no school tomorrow
Only HAVE WORK!!
My work is so repetitive, that it can be quite boring, then I will always try ways n means to make it fun like throwing in some dumb way.
Or maybe compete with myself to make a EVEN nicer looking cookie or sth.

Anyway, I know I have not been blogging.
Let me start from WATCH NIGHT SERVICE
It was awesome
although I was SUPER TIRED cause I work in the morning, slept for 4plus hrs only.
I was REALLY dying by the end of WORK
But I must thank God for giving me His strength to survive the whole 6 hrs till 6AM
I was really dying after tat.
I was quite lucky that I didnt get gastric, I dun think i eat anything leh

Yesterday was our first youth service of the year.
I did alot of stuff
Worship was great!
the most IMPT is the 2 ppl I wanna SAVE
This time, I am not going to let my pride stop me
cause my pride is God's
i must do his will THIS TIME

Sunday service was AWESOME too!!
The speaker is very inspirational man!!
she is like a role model!!
Cause she is a female speaker
mostly is male speaker

For this year, I dun even wanna miss one day of TAWG or prayer
EVERYDAY of the year I will do my TAWG n PRAYER
its like new year resolution!!
HAHAHA

I'm hungry!!
HAHAHA Shall go grab some ICE CREAM!!(:

My best day of my life

2009-12-29T00:30:00.001+08:00

I wish you knew.
that i think of you , whether you are or not
I always think back the short time we had only each other
when we cant hide from one another.
when we show our true self
When I feel so relieved by your side
knowing that I dun have the hide the truth from you
I know you dont know
but It doesnt matter
I remembered your call
guessing that I am still at home
meeting you at the MRT
seeing what you wear
it really melted my heart
The train trip when you wake me up when I AM SLEEPING
I remembered the cab we shared
OHHHHH I think you havent pay me yet
When we were rushing our food.
When I was trying to explain the place to the taxi driver
I couldnt pronounce the place
I felt so embarrassed then
I GRABBED out my handy street directory
I think you were busy eating your food
getting out of the cab
started raining
We were busy finding the location
realised we got down at the wrong place
My mummy was teasing me about you
that's why I didnt wan to show you the msg anyway.
It will reveal everything.
Walking to find the location
eating my sweet
finally finding the place
my shirt have a new design of spots
entered the place
Filled up the forms
heard the first time you said papa
sounds funny
hahaha
We felt scared of course
I knew you were scared although you said you are not
It was so OBVIOUS in your actions
After we finished what we came so far to do
the relief in our faces
waiting at the bus stop
in the train seeing everyone staring at us
standing close
getting out the TRAIN
the time we are trying to start a conversation at the same time
n we paused thinking who should continue
the bus trip back home
when my hands accidentally hit yours
This was the only time i get to sit next to you
that was the only time i feel you so close
I know it will be my last time too
I know I will never have the chance ever again
I never knew i actually will have this chance to spend that day with you

I really wish i can show my feelings
but I have to hide it
I wish you can understand that
This are my true thoughts
I never hide
i know you will never read this, so I can finally pour it out
it is so tiring trying to keep it in
i feel so relieved that i finally can let it out
I think I will never be able to tell you the truth
but I will always think of you
even after my work i will walk to see that lighted window
i am happy cause even though I can never tell the truth
I can at least know you are there near me
When you are near me
When you are here I see all that I am made of
And all that I have
When you are near

Whenever I want to think back that day,
i can at least read this post
because it's ALL about you
that day with you was the BEST day of my life.

MOVED MOVED MOVED!! (:

2009-06-18T23:12:00.004+08:00

I HAVE CHANGED MY BLOG ADDRESS!!! (:(:

TO

http://myrooftopfantasy.blogspot.com/

BLOGSKIN is still the SAME (:

I think I'm DREAMING

2009-06-18T22:00:00.006+08:00

I long to find that similar purple sunset to remember my rooftop fantasy.

Its been a weird few days!! And I have no idea how to explain it. It all started on WEDNESDAY.
There are stuff I CANT SAY here
But it leads me to this photo
I remembered seeing it before.
But everyone say they didnt seen it.
I went to many websites to find this photo
But it is no where to be found.
It was a photo that SOMEONE took at the
FOOD EXTRAVAGANZA.
I remembered I showed one of my friend the photo
But I asked her today and
she said she never seen any photos
about the food HUNT.
THAT'S the scary PART.
I was very sure it was a PHOTO
cause I could see my BACK VIEW.
MY OWN BACK VIEW!!!
NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW
THERE WAS SUCH A PIC!!
only ME can??
It feels so fresh in my HEAD.
I could remember it so clearly.
It was at the part where
we first started the FOOD HUNT
THE PART where one person had
to finish plates of MASHED POTATO
I remembered I was passing cups of water
I COULD REALLY REMEMBER!!
SOOOOO..
I drawn the picture in my head out.
HERE IT IS:
The pictures seems to be taken
from the back of the theater or the hall.
ANYONE WHO SEEN THIS PHOTO
OR REMEMBERED THIS SCENE
FROM THE FOOD HUNT.

PLEASE TELL ME!!!
I NEED AND HAVE TO KNOW!!
I HAVE TO CLEAR MY DOUBTS
OR I CANT SLEEP TONIGHT!!
THANKS (:(:(:

What are HOLIDAYS again?

2009-06-04T23:06:00.006+08:00

I WILL REACH THE END. I JUST KNOW IT. I BELIEVE.
GOD just lead me now.

AHH!!
I know I have not been updating my blog.
SORRY!!!
Very BUSY LIKE CRAZY
And I hardly go online NOW!!
Where got time!!
HAHAHAH

SO..
This week is suppose to the June HOLIDAYS
But I still have school till next week.
So YA!! NOTHING much to look forward to REALLY
BBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT!!
TOMORROW is
WWW OMG!!
Yes!!
AWESOME AWESOME!!!
I been waiting for like ages
But have extra lessons till 3.30pm
so wil be late
I am always LATE??!!
FOR EVERYTHING

Went for Prayer and PRAISE on WED!!
LOVE IT
AND cherished it.
Cause most of the time have TUITION
It was AWESOME
just that we ended like SUPER LATE
10!! AHHHH
I was supposed to be home by THEN
But nvm
God planned.
So came home.
PArents didnt scold.

Next.
My mum.
I am so worried for her!!
AHHHH.
I dunno what to do but pray.
Please pray for my mum too!! THANKS(:
I cant realy state the reason here
ABIT DANGEROUS
so U CAN ASK ME!! (:

OHH. on monday
Chinese O just passed by.
Was so freaked out!!
I wanted to scream in the middle of the EXAM HALL
HAHAHAH
But at least its over!!

AND on TUESDAY.
I WITNESSED the killings of
a baby FROG and SPIDER.
I AM SO SORRY.
this was what happened....
HAD CCA.
Dunno why I still have CCA.
but nvm
We had to do outdoor cooking
which is cooking in the field
by digging a hole in the grass
use it as a PIT.
WRAP food in foil and put it in the ambers
of the fire we created through blowing
and punks and kindling.
Then my patrol pit was pretty small,
and when I was calling my juniors to blow the fire
and PUSHING their head CLOSER to the fire.
I SPOTTED the green, slimy,dumb baby frog
It was hopping its way to the pit (FIRE)
I was like NOOOOOO!!!
Please dun!!!
I wanted to pick it up
BUT It was too close to the fire
and i know if i get closer.
it will jump in
My friend heard me screaming for HELP.
she came.
and tried to pick it up.
but to the frog.
my friend was leading the frog to its grave.
It JUMPED. I SCREAMED.
MAN I wished I can stop TIME for once.
It went straight in!!
JUMP a few times
then its skin melted like
candy floss in your mouth
It was GROSS.
I thought of adding frog soup
in the menu of my patrol's outdoor meal
I think BBQ frog sound more accurate.
then I dug a small pit to bury the remains of the frog.
May it REST in PEACE.
After years of being a GUIDE,
I have seem so many deaths of frogs
in my school field.
I had buried so MANY!!
5 I think.
OHH.
Then when we were waiting
for the food to cook in the ambers
A SPIDER jumped in too.
I think it thought it was a swimming pool
HAHAHAHA
But we still eat the food
BUT ENDED UP HAVING A STOMACHACHE
hahahaha.
I am sorry FROGGIE AND SPIDER.

Lastly,
I have decided that I AM GOING TO
BUY A SECOND HAND GUITAR!!
YUPP
I really cant use my cousin's
It is very painful and hard.
So I shall get a cheap one from
CASH CONVERTER
hahhaha
I KNOW I AM VERY CHEAPO!!
HHAHAHA
I dun really care la
Just can play in tune
and not like very dirty can already!!
and must look NICE la
WENT there today
there was a
BROWM YAMAHA ACOUSTIC GUITAR
that caught my EYE
It look GORGEOUS!!
the first thing I did was check whether
it was easy to press the strings
then, i see the design.
it was coated with drops of paint.
DUNNO WHY
I have to save up to BUY!!
HAHAHAH
OKAY
tomorrow still have school!!
SO GOOD NIGHT!!
OH
AND JEREMY
I finally changed your name (:
HAAHA (:
GOODNIGHT!!!!!! (:
I am always not having enough SLEEP
OH MAN!!

Why?

2009-04-30T22:33:00.006+08:00

Stay by me.
I need you.
I am falling.
I need your loving arms to cushion my fall.
I will accept everything with FAITH.

If you want to go on fighting
Please dun!
I beg you.
I dun want to hear screaming!!
I dun like cold wars.
Why cant u two just talk?
Why cant u two just forgive and forget.
21 years old marks the breaking of a family.
then I dun want to be 21 years old
I want to stay below that
i dun wan to be financial stable.
Please.
give me the peace at home
then i wont need to dread going home
dread always being stuck in the middle
always have to find a place to study excluding home
i cant solve the problem
PLEASE!!
STOP IT!!
stop making me feel like a USELESS being
that can only sob in the corner of the room
when i hear the conflicts happening.
Please make it STOP!!
I want to go back to the past
i want the happy days back!!
give them back to me!
WHY?
I JUST DUN UNDERSTAND!!!
CONFLICTS??
WHY DO U EXIST?

It is EASY to say GOODBYE!
i am going to LET GO.
But one thing I know
I am not the only for you,
but you are the only one for me.
Please dun let me see your face.
I will forget about letting go again
like i always do.
I MUST LET THINGS GO
THE WAY I LEFT IT!

SHATTER WITH ME!!!

2009-04-16T15:34:00.008+08:00

Look up and look beside you.
YOU dun have to worry.
Cause he is always with YOU
WHERE EVER you are, HE will follow
your presence is so REAL.

THURSDAY is OVER!!!
FINALLY!!
now just ONE MORE DAY!!
I cannot WAIT!!!!
HAHAHAHAH

I need to sew my stitches AGAIN!!!
WHEN can I stop sewing that!!
HAHAHAHHA

Sit with me Sit by me.
We shall talk till there is nothing left to say
Hold my hand in yours
Look into my eyes
I want to admire you
I want to just sit next to you for the longest time.
this only happens in my sweetest dreams.
You feel so real
But when I am stepping out of the zone
you always push me back in
you seem different from what I thought you were
which is disappointing
like so what?
Its not like I can change anything
I think I dun want to open my mouth to say it.
Cause I WON'T
I dun dare to EVEN
seems like everyone has it
The fear of rejection

I cannot believe it.
I used to hate you.
BUT IT SEEMS different now.
I wish I could say it.
But I am scared
What if you never even thought of that before
then everything plus my heart will shatter
SHATTER WITH ME.

Bring me BACK!!!

2009-04-13T16:43:00.011+08:00

HEY HEY!!
I know I have not been BLOGGING
been REAL BUSY!!!

OKAY!!
FIRST OF ALL!
I need to complain about my VERY ANNOYING HANDPHONE!!!
ARGH!!
AHHH!!
It DIED on me!!
I can like no longer use it!!!
the keypad has some problem
that I cannot even press select, accept call or back??
OH MAN!!
I was so tempted to just throw it down from the 8-storey!!!
NOW I have to use the ARMY PHONE
the very LOUSY ONE
But I sort of found my previous phone
which features and functions are also VERY CRAPPY

OKAY!!
This few WEEKS were MADNESS
there is HAPPY STUFF and definitely sad ones too.
But I shall always look at the bright side
AND SMILE.
I can hardly remember what happened this week
ERR.

LAST week was PRETTY SHORT
cause there is only 4 SCHOOL DAYS.
So I guess it is a psychological thing
that everything seems SHORTER!!!!
WHICH is great of course!!

GOOD FRIDAY.
I managed to go to church in the MORNING!!!
for the EASTER SERVICE by Dr Ashley Crane
It was AWESOME!!
He focus on SON-SHIP with God
It was very INTERESTING!!
I felt the presence of God.
It was a very GREAT and ADDICTIVE feeling!!
I WANT MORE!!

SWEATY SATURDAY.
It was OKAY!!
Had tuition first
So didn't make it for the WHOLE thing
but MANAGED to leave early at 6
so make it from 6 to 7!!!
Suddenly ONE HOUR seems so PRECIOUS!
Then after service was CRAZINESS!!!
We were so ALIVE!!!
All the youths went CRAZY!!!
I guess maybe we were so BURNING for God
we were jumping, singing and just rejoicing GOD!!!
It was really DARK!!!
I can hardly see!!!
So I didn't really know where I was JUMPING!!!
HAHAHHAAH
It was like the only TIME
there was no SEPARATOR between the LADIES and the GENTLEMEN
We were like CROWDING like a CIRCLE
I think people might have thought we are CRAZY or something!!!
NOW, my legs HURTS very badly!!
I am like limping!!!
OH NO!!
My friend was like "JOLENE?? Why are u limping?? What happened??"
I said I jumped too MUCH
then my friend became so PUZZLED.
I think she is thinking why PEOPLE like me will JUMPED till they LIMP!
I was like sweating when we finally STOPPED the jumping
I think I stink can?
was LOOKING DESPERATELY for some DEODORANT
HAHAHAHAH

EASTER EXCEPTION
I also managed to come one SUNDAY
I guess ONLY this SUNDAY!!!
HAHAHAHAH
I must REALLY THANK GOD for helping me come for so MANY DAYS!!!
IT is like AMAZING!!!
What really STRUCK me was when he said
"Do not complain about what the devils are doing, but complain about what we are not doing for God."
I felt like God was telling me not to DWELL in there anymore.
It will never WORK
Dr Ashley Crane also mentioned that we must overcome the evil one and do not ALLOW the devils to steal my inheritances
It was really very ENCOURAGING!!!
I am so GLAD I came!!!
HAHAHAHAAH

Behind that CHEERFUL smile lies something totally different.
even after fitting yourself in.
U know U cant lie to yourself
YOU dont belong.
Somehow YOU just dun.
Those unknown faces confirm your thoughts
even people U once knew and talked to
no longer remembered YOU.
they gave YOU that cold look
that look really made YOU feel so cold.
WHY?
Why smile??
How can u still smile?
I really dunno how u do that.
Why are u hiding everything?
LET EVERYTHING OUT?
PLEASE?
I beg YOU!
I cannot take it ANYMORE.
How long do u want to HOLD ON
and PRETEND?
PRETEND that everything is FINE
and LAUGHED like u never LAUGHED before
I know you are trying to HIDE everything.
You just dun want anyone to KNOW!!!
Sometimes you can really LAUGHED like a CRAZY person
OTHER times u just do it to try to feel HAPPY again?
STOP PRETENDING JOLENE!!
It is not going to WORK
It used to.
BUT NOT ANYMORE!!

FIN by Anberlin ( the last PARAGRAPH)
Take what you will, what you will
And leave. Could you kill, could you kill me
If the world was on fire
And nothing was left but hope or desire
And take all that I could bring forth, is this hell
Or am I on the floor over-desperate?
Hold hands streaming of blood again?
And then take full weight of me
Guard my dreams, figure this out,
It's me on my own. Helpless, hurting, hell
Will you stay strong as you promised?
Cause I'm stranded and bare.
Meanness is washed up in all that I am
Is God. Take this and all,
Then grace takes me to a place
Of the father you never had
Ripping and breaking and tearing apart
This is not heaven
It's hell, my friend.

2009-04-09T16:11:00.005+08:00

JUMP and REJOICE!!!
For God is GREAT!!!!

TODAY marks the start of MY WEEKDAYS
Which is AWESOME!
Tomorrow is a public HOLIDAY!!!
NO wonder This week seems so SHORT
BUT STILL
today is LIKE WOW!!!
6 SUBJECTS!!
AHHH
BUT at least I managed to survive
HAHAHAHAh
THANK GOD!!!
HAHAHAHHAAH

NOW
I am waiting for JASMINE
not really!!!
I dun even WANT to grate some PINEAPPLE
HAHAHAH

We are like making PINEAPPLE JAM
oh MY!!!!
AHHH
and the grating PART is so
ARGH
HAAHAHAHAHHAH
each person one PINEAPPLE
I am doing mine SOON!!
SO ANNOYING

JASMINE SAYS that we are lucky that
the peeps at the stall help us remove
the skin of the pineapple, or we will be
still cutting the skin off with my house's
LOUSY KINFE.
Jasmine feels honoured!!
HAHAHHA
for having her very own post in my post!!!!!

Shall continue Later
it is going to be my turn!!!
AHHH
HAHAHAHHA!
We are so CANDID.
HAHAHAHAH
We finally have a PROPER SHOT.

THIS IS GROSS!!

shall continue another TIME
gtg

WHAT a WEEK!!

2009-04-04T23:52:00.009+08:00

AWESOME clouds!!!
VERY NICE!!!
(:
was taking this while waiting for JASMINE!!
HAHAHA

I was PRETTY BUSY for the last two WEEKS
Had a lot of stuff all PACKED together
And was also VERY SICK with
some weird saw throat that
lasted SUPER LONG.
HAHAHAHHA
so these are the updates

ON last monday,
Was the Tampines Service Centre Volunteer appreciation PARTY
AHHAHAHAHA
We went there late cause ME and JOY both had English tutorials
till pretty LATE
SO BY THE TIME,
we reach there,
we were only on time to EAT!!
which is a GOOD THING
cause we were REALLY hungry!!
HAHAHAHHA
It was pretty AWKWARD
cause there were other people
BUT NVM
Cause I GOT JOY and
JOY GOT ME!!!
HHAHAHAHAH (:
We took PHOTOS!! (:
ITS BALLOONS
so MUST TAKE!!!
That lady in the MIDDLE is JOELY!!!
LOVE HER!!Joy SAY MUST PUT THIS!!!
It was done by JOY herself
a year BACK
GUESS THE NAME if u want
THAT GUY BESIDE HER
She look like a GUY TOO LA
HAHAHAHAHA
NAME BEEN CENSORED!!!
dun worry JOY!!

Was playing this with Cynthiya!!
THE SIMPSONS CHESS!!!
COOL RITE??

NEXT NEXT.
My CAMP CHALLENGE training with my JUNIORS
hahahah
since are training them
WE CAN SLACK and do OUR HW!!
HHHAAH
AND we were HUNGRY
so we decided to do MASS TIN COOKING
to cook some INSTANT NOODLES
for ourselves and the JUNIORS
HAHAAHAH
SO NICE RITE?
WE cook for them!!
HAAHHAH(:
and there the PROCESS!!...

FIRE BURNING!!
WE USE SOLID FUEL !!
WAITING FOR THE WATER TO BOIL!!!
WHILE WAITING, take more PHOTOS
THERE OUR AWESOME NOODLES!!!
ENJOYING YA!!! and our juniors pitching the TENT
behind US!!! HAHAAHA (:THE GORGEOUS COLOURS

And it was APRIL FOOL's DAY,
and our class decided to LOOK DUMB
SO HERE GOES.
Our class DECIDED to CHANGE OUR
CLASS ARRANGEMENT to THIS
FACING THE WINDOWS
instead of facing the BOARD!!
HAHAHAH

I am trying.
VERY HARD. But it seems so hard.
I thought finding someone else will
really solve the problem
GUESS WHAT it didn't. WHY?
I tried my best to force myself
I thought everything will turn out FINE
BUT no.
Nothing was fine.
I wish one day, everything will be different

That's all I can FEEL now

2009-03-23T18:41:00.002+08:00

This is what I am feeling now.
Seems like this song SAYS it ALL

The Show by Lenka
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

I totally AGREE with these TWO sentences

"Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why"

"I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go"

Sometimes.
I wish everything can just end when I want it
I wish I cant feel anything
I wish I dun have feelings
Then I wont know when it HURTS
I want to let go.
I dun want to hold on.
I will let it GO.
Feelings HURT
I wish I knew What to do?

FALSE HOPE.

2009-03-21T01:52:00.007+08:00

TODAY was AWESOME
had the IGNITE CONCERT!!
It was GREAT!!
I REALLY SCREAMED my lungs and HEART out!
God heals
DO SOMETHING!!
is what i am planning to do!!
HHAHAHHA
My legs, hands, fingers, arms and toes
HURT for all the JUMPING and GOING CRAZY
But my hunger is still THERE
I HUNGER FOR MORE!!

I am sick and tired of everything
if u really hate me that much
then go on hating me
I will TRY my very best not to CARE
U dun have to be so COLD rite?
I really dun UNDERSTAND?
What is worst?
STRANGERS
It seems like that.
All I wish is a friendship.
I dun ask for anything more.
I think i DUN want to.
BUT are u making things so difficult?
why cant u just fulfill this SIMPLE wish of MINE
I hate being hang at some POINT
where u have no idea what is going on?
It will make my little BRAIN think alot
But you just love doing that to me
maybe it is unknowingly
BUT it is very ARGH
you are like a tore page of a fairytale storybook.
so PERFECT and COMPLETE
Yet u are tore my ideal dreams and ENDINGs
I thought u were different.
But why?
Are u just so HAPPY disappointing me
AGAIN and AGAIN?
Why must you do that?
Am I that hard*
Why must you be so COLD?
I tried my BEST to *so INTERESTING and HAPPY
I tried my BEST.
But you are just SLAPPING my face
and saying it is not ENOUGH
I took my CHANCES.
I tried my BEST.
I lower my HOPE.
I wish for the BEST.
You make me SMILE.
But you make me FROWN.
I asked EVERYTHING I can.
You only exist in FAIRYTALES
Which do not even EXIST.
You are PERFECT in my eyes
But I seem to be like NOTHING to you
not EVEN a FRIEND
just a STRANGER
not even a HAHAHA or (:
just BLANK
do u know how much I hate BLANKS?
My brain will always fill in the BLANKS for me
Stop making me HAPPY for nothing
FALSE HOPE

WHY?
that stare
I finally make up my mind
I am going to end THIS
I will not hold back like i always do
I will not say I cant BEAR to
Cause now.
I can BEAR.
I want to let YOU go.
Erase you from ME
Just GO AWAY

Relief

2009-03-15T23:15:00.006+08:00

YES the AWESOME WEEKENDS is OVER.
I am still in a ULTRA PANIC-ING MOOD
Cause I just finish my Physics online project.
OH MAN
HAD to rush for it within 28mins
to be EXACT.
I was like type type type!!
transfer transfer
I am going NUTS
so in the end
I send it in like 30 mins LATE
but nevermind
At least we did it
NOT SO BAD
We are supposed to do it groups of SIX?
Now we are doing in groups of 2
WE just couldn't contact the REST
WHAT??
HAHAHAHHAA

Let's not talk about THAT
My parents came back from MALAYSIA
which means today NIGHT.
is the END of my relaxing and AWESOME weekend
But I am sure I enjoy this WEEKEND!!
I enjoyed EVERY SINGLE BIT of it

I told myself
to wipe off all WORRIES and PROBLEMS
and just enjoy this WEEK
cause i never know when will I have such a privilege
to come on SAT(the whole thing) and SUNDAY
Although I KNOW God will plan this AGAIN
I think God wanted me to just let go off everything
cause this week was TERRIBLE
I was pretty overwhelmed with TONS of things
Also, quite drained spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
there are just so many problems attacking me in all DIRECTIONS
PLUS my ENG tuition TOO.
OH MAN
I really dunno.
I am just going to LET God decide for me
I am tired of CRACKING my LITTLE brain cells thinking.
PART of my emotional problem was SOLVED on SAT
AWESOME before I went church
PRAISE GOD!!
I was so relieved after that

RESULTS I DUN EVEN WANT TO THINK OF it
It is the WORST in my 4 years of secondary SCHOOL
PGA STUFF is starting to pile up.
must start preparing my speech
study on Singapore and Guides history
AHH
and BLAH BLAH

I must say I REALLY REALLY ENJOYED this weekend
although I had to RUSH from place to place on FRI
just to get this AWESOME SAT AND SUN
It is really WORTH IT.
SAT.
I got to WORSHIP with my heart and SOUL
OH MAN
That feeling is so GREAT!!
I really HUNGER for MORE.
I am really always popping in between worships and everything
That I hardly had a chance to enjoy the WHOLE thing
MAN!!
AT least this once I DID.
I really have to TREASURE IT

I must say that God really plans everything for me
It seems that everything being preached boils down to
WORSHIPPING God even through PROBLEMS!
Even when you know that U are about to go MAD over them.
You must seek peace from God.
And JOY.
i really need that.
I am hardly HAPPY since the start of the YEAR.
Not a good START
HAHAHA

SUNDAY was WOW WOW WOW!!
I got to come CHURCH EARLY!!
LIKE one SUNDAY!
OH MY GOSH!!
UNBELIEVABLE.
WORSHIP is SUPER AWESOME

OH OH!!
THE taxi FARE
I must remember to return MONEY!!
AHHH
I feel so BAD for not PAYING at all!!
HAHAHAH
OWN $$$ PAY $$$
a reminder for MYSELF

AHAHAHAHA
I got a lot of stuff from MALAYSIA!!
BUT the best was THIS!!
(:(:(:(: SO SMALL AND ADORABLE
HAHAHA!!
LIKE no BIG DEAL RIGHT!!
OKAY FINE.
HAHAHA compare and CONTRAST
That's my pit!! HHAHAH
LOOK AT THE SIZE!!
OH MY!!!
NOW for the REAL ONE!!
HAHAHHA
can u even SEE the tiny one?
HAHAHAHA
my GUITAR looks so GORGEOUS here!
HAHAHAHAH

HAHAHA
My parents bought that KEYCHAIN for me
But I will not even take it out?
SO FRAGILE.
I was PRETTY SHOCKED
I thought they were against me playing GUITAR!!
HAAHAHAHAH
But they bought that for ME!!
OH MY!!
I am melting!!
I LOVE IT!!

THIS IS LIPING!!
GREEDY!! Take TWO DRINKS
HHAHAHAH

May have SERVICE TOMORROW
I mean CIP!!
SO I think I should REST!!
I always SLEEP SO LATE!!
yesterday only have 5 hrs of SLEEP last night.
HHHAHAHAH
OFF to do TAWG!!
(:(:(:
SWEET DREAMS!!

I wish I can continue to wish
But I know it is pretty hopeless.
Now I really wish that you can just break my heart once and for all
to stop me from dreaming
just break my heart as hard as possible
just let it break
so I will wake up
And I can move on
I can start picking up the pieces and move on
I dun like to be hanging there
But I dun want to make the first move.
I fear rejection.
dun everyone fear that too.

THAT SWEET MOMENT.
THEY SEEM TO BELONG IN THEIR OWN BUBBLE
AND EVERYONE SEEMS TO NOT EXIST
THEY DUN EVEN SEEM TO REALISE
THAT THEY WERE IN THE SPOTLIGHT
IT WAS JUST HER AND HIM
HER JOKING AND HIS PRETENDING
THEY JUST MATCH
THEY DID NOT NEED TO PRETEND
THEY DUN NEED TO TRY TO COMMUNICATE
EVERYTHING JUST WORKED OUT FOR THEM
EVEN WHEN I KNOW ONLY ONE SIDE OF THE STORY
I KNOW THAT THEY ARE QUITE TO PLEASE WITH ONE ANOTHER
THEY DUN NEED OTHERS TO START A CONVERSION
unlike me
THEY JUST NEED EACH OTHER
THEIR LAUGHTER FILLED ME
makes me wonder
i HOPE THAT THEY WILL LAST FOREVER.

I wish this happened to me
But I just know I dun have the guts to do SO
I am just too fearful.
I just keep on thinking
and by the time I finished.
I already missed the chance
Why cant I treat everything normally?
Why do I think SO MUCH?
Maybe that is just ME.

AWESOME WEEKEND

2009-03-13T22:53:00.003+08:00

HAHHA!!
AWESOME!!
Today marks the start of the HOLIDAY!
How GREAT?
I had CCA and TUITION to rush for
WORST thing is that they are so PACKED together
So I have to RUSH from one place to another!!
TIRING!!!
HAHAH
but I can finally rest
It is so annoying!!
JOY and YOGES planned to play badminton
HAHAHA
when did we become so SPORTY!
HAHAHAHA
But I guess in the end they went to play
BASKETBALL with the BEDOK PEOPLE!
WHILE I was in TUITION
how AWESOME????!!
By the time, I come back
They already finished already
JOY and YOGES walking back already can?
LIKE what
I wanted to follow them go buy BUBBLE TEA
but my DAD came back
SO YES
I cant GO

Today and YESTERDAY was LMS day
We had to do stuff ONLINE
hahahaha
We got even MORE HW in the end!!
But nvm
PRACTICE make PERFECT
Today also have CCA
so not really considered LMS day.
SOOOOOOO
what a GREAT FRIDAY?

HAHAHAH
it is going to be 2am
And i am still here!!
HAHAAHAH
tomorrow need to go school at
10.45am
OH MAN!!
BUT there is CHURCH TOMORROW!!
AND I have no TUITION
the feeling ROCKS!!!
AWESOME
(:

Can you promise me to always stay where I can see you?
Then at least I will not need to think of you all the time.

personality test

2009-03-09T23:53:00.003+08:00

It is a little like yours Amanda.

but the differences are REALLY very TRUE!!!

HAHAHH (:

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Here another one!!
IT SO MAKE SENSE!!

Here is the analysis:

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

In love with SUNSETS

2009-03-09T18:23:00.008+08:00

Well, this is the last week
before the March Holidays. But seriously, there is no EXCITEMENT in my nerves.
I am feeling NOTHING.
My parents going MALAYSIA without me.
HAHAHA
Not like I am interested to go anyway.
HAHAHAHA
Saturday is always AWESOME
but last sat is only OKAY.
I cannot mix both feelings in
I think that is not FAIR
So I can only say I only came in at
like 6.45 or 50
So I practically MISSED everything.
I came in and they like already ended.
So I just try to fit like I can.

We had our dinner at the HAWKER CENTRE.
We are far too POOR
I guess.
HAHAHAHAHA.
There were very little BEDOK people that day.
I think most of them having meeting
so only 4 of us went home.
AND we were also EARLY.
NOT VERY AWESOME.

Sunday.
... ... ... ... ...
woke up very LATE.
Been waking up early for ALOT of days
So wanted to rest a bit.
My nose was STUCK.
CRAP.
I hate to sleep with stuck NOSE.
I dun even think I was sleeping.

Today.
I was quite energised.
I didn't dare to sleep.
OHH YA.
Must print my plan out later.
OHH.
got HW to do.
HAHAHAH
BIO and EMATH
SADNESS.

Wednesday have Chinese Orals!!
NOT LOVING IT!!
HAHHAHAHAH
But thursday and friday is LMS day!!
AWESOME.
CAN stay at HOME
and have school ONLINE!!
HAHAHAHA
BUT I think there will be TONS of hw!!
NVM!!
At least can wake up LATE!
GOOD ENOUGH!!
HAHHHH (:

Here are some UGLY and RETARTED photo,
we took
I really wonder what LIPING was doing?
Me and YOGES PLAYING
OUR BREAK TIME!!
I look DISGUSTED!!!
OH MAN!! :(
I think SQUASH is a GOOD exercise!!
Cause at the end of the DAY.
OUR back is more pain than our LEGS
We just kept on picking up BALLS
but in the end, can at least play abit!!
AWESOME! (:(:
LIPING looks SCARY!! HAHAH
I look like I am GOING TO FIGHT!!!
I am too UGLY!!
so I need to hide behind the RACKET!!
WE were REALLY HUNGRY!! HAHAHA (:
Joy RUSHED back to appear in this shot.
ME!! I look so PRO!! HAHA
YOGES STONING!! HAAHA (:
OKAY!!
JOY and LIPING just TOOK my phone to take this SHOT!!
NO WONDER SO BLUR!!
HAHAHAH!!

I could sense that something was MISSING.
I searched the place wishing for traces of you. I found nothing. It was then I realised. you already vanish from my memories.
I really wanted to SMILE and pretend.
It is getting easier to pretend and
hide my feelings NOW OF DAYS.

But I know that some things is
NEVER GOING TO CHANGE.
I comfort MYSELF.
I told myself, let this be the last.
Let this be the last time
I hold you back.
The next time I will let go.
or I must let go.
I must end it.
I have to.

Memories that will be graved in me

2009-03-06T23:06:00.012+08:00

I know I have not been BLOGGING!!
I really dun have the TIME
And maybe cause I am FAR too LAZY!!
HAHAHA

Well
Let's start on MONDAY then!!
Nothing much on MONDAY!
except that I got a lot of CA papers BACK!!!
FREAK me OUT!!
YES
My results are WORST than last year's!
THAT's BAD!!
OKAY!

WEEK DAYS are BORING!
I dun want to talk about it ANYMORE!!
HAHAHA

OHH
Thursday went to the career 2009 thing
It was QUITE interesting!!
saw a lot of HEALTHCARE stuff!!
I LIKE (:(:
HAHAHA
I was like taking every brochure I can FIND!!
And JOY was like?
WEDDING PLANNER!!
HAHAAHAH
I dun think she took anything la??
EMPTY HANDED I must SAY??
I was like some 'diligent' student
desperately grabbing whatever I can find
HHAHHAHAAH weird

Guides TODAY!!
VERY TIRED!!
as usual...
HAHAHAH
(:

Tomorrow have CHURCH!
Cant WAIT!!
WAS actually supposed to meet
YOGES, LIPING and JOY go play SQUASH
WE ARE VERY HEALTHY PEOPLE!!
But then I REALISED that
I AM CLOSE TO 4 MONTHS
BEFORE MY PRELIMS!!!
AHHHHH!!!!
I was QUITE retarted!!
I counted to 'O's
SO it was 7-8months
and then I was wondering
why my friend was PANIC-ing!!!
NOW I KNOW!!
CAUSE I HAVE BEEN COUNTING WRONGLY!
no wonder my MATHS fail!
hahaha
SO in the end!
I am just going to stay at home la
maybe I can go!!
SINCE I just realised that
I am not going out on SUNDAY
since my PLAN with SAM
was RUINED!!
HAHAHAHHAHAHA
so can maybe study on SUNDAY
OHH
I also need to BUY
BIO NOTES and
A and Emath practice books with worked solutions
HAHAHAHA

Now on to the PHOTOS!!
HAHAH (:
HAHAH!!
This is the MOST RECENT!!
ON monday!
Went CIP at Tampines Service Centre
Took this RETARTED PHOTO while waiting for FOOD!
HUNGRY PEOPLE sometimes cant think
PROPERLY!!

This are the PHOTOS we took at
YOGES, LIPING, NICOLE, JOY, YONG HUI,
RAY, GERALD, JOSHUA, GABRIEL
and GENEVIENE ( not sure the SPELLING)
WATER BAPTISM!!!
Actually I told all of them that I am not going
CAUSE I was SCARED I cant TAKE it
But I was thinking that I should so and FACE it!!
So in the end,
I made it like a SURPRISE!!
I just POPPED in and SAY HELLO!!
HAHAHAHAH
And so I did that..
AND...
JOY was so SHOCKED that She cried like CRAZY!!!
HAHAAHAH
OHH. JOY!
AWWWW!
HAHHAAHAH
OKAY!! This PHOTO is on impulse!!
That is my FOOT!!
HAHAHAAH
GOSH!
LIPING!! dunno what she DOING?
JOY and her BOTTLE again!!
HAHAHAAH
FORGOT to bring MINE!
I have no idea what we were doing??
CANDID!!??
HAHAHA (:
We were supposed to be ACTING like PIGS!!
I guess it didn't work out the way we wanted TO?
I LOVE this PIC!!
Although I am not in IT!!
HAHAAH
SMILING (:
SMILING somemore??
THE FLOWER!!
YAY! (:

This is SAT!!

THE yummy CHICKEN wing!!
OBSCENE??
HAHAAHA caught JEREMY twisting!! (:
(:(:
Went out with RACHEL and SAMANTHA to watch
MARLY and me ( not sure the SPELLING)
I cried like CRAZY!!
SO SAD!!
the DOG DIED!!!
GOSH!

AND LASTLY,
MY LIVEGROUP!!
This is at Joshua's house!!
Many people are missing
BUT ya (:
LOVE this PHOTO!!!
(:

OVER

2009-02-26T16:49:00.006+08:00

FINALLY
CAs are OVER!!
I have been losing a lot of HAIR
getting heavier eye bags
and getting sick
THANKS to the CAs

HAHAHA
i dunno why
I wil get STUPID runny NOSE
when I am having EXAMS
now I know why
CAUSE I AM STRESSED
hahahaahahaah
so now I am SMART enough to
ARM myself with tissue!!
HAHAHAH
my tradition for every EXAM!!
HAHAHAH

CAs have be BLAH!!
CRAZINESS
my brain is NOT WORKING!!!
first DAY- English and SS
Second DAY- Emath
Third DAY- GG and Amath
AND today
the GONER DAY
Pure bio and PHY/chem
my brain REALLY cannot TAKE it can!!
LIKE wat??

But nevermind its OVER!!
Tomorrow will be AWESOME!!!
Its Canossian Saint's Day
got a little of a HALF DAY!!
And treating myself to a MOVIE!!
having been watching since the start of the YEAR
I guess
hahaahhaha

here are some PICs that I haven't uploaded!
I was PRETTY AMAZED with the COLOR of the plates
THAT WHY
I took this PIC!!
I am not THAT LAME!!
AHAHAHAH
MY EX-SENIORS Gave this to me!
VERY NICE!!!!
They keep on saying I am slow!!
But I admit it!!
I am SOMETIMES only
HAHAH
Its SUPER encouraging!!
This is RATHER DUMB!!
But at that time I was DOING AMATH
and I really cannot think of anything to encourage me
TO STUDY!!
So I DID THIS!!
To make myself LAUGH!!
Note: The paper is UP SIDE DOWN
I didn't know TILL NOW!!
HAHAHHA
I am using this to SCARE MYSELF!!! I think ITS WORKING!!

At THINKING DAY,
If u wonder why my expression is like that
THAT's because
at that time, EZZAH was trying to distract me
while I am TAKING the PHOTO!!
JASMINE TOH!!!! UNGLAM!!
Priscilla!! HAHAAH
MY GUIDES INTERNATIONAL CAMP FRIEND!!
She forgot me LOR!!!
HAHAAHA
It's been a YEAR!!
Cannot BLAME HER!!
HEH
Another Guides INTERNATIONAL CAMP FRIEND
But she REMEMBERED me though!!!
HAHAAH SHU MEI have better MEMORY!!
HAHAH (:
That GIRL is EZZAH!! TOOK HER unglam!!
YES!!
THAT is my LAST Thinking DAY of my LIFE
SADNESS!!!

This WEEKEND is THE BEST!!
BBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT
I have Olevels chinese midyear on MONDAY
SO SPOILER!!
HAHAHAH

Thanks

2009-02-20T21:52:00.003+08:00

I must really thank EVERYONE!
I love u people!!
I will smile TOMORROW
I promised!!!

I know everything will be OKAY.
I will not doubt that

Tomorrow is GUIDES Thinking DAY!!
YAY!!
But have to wake UP early
ERR I think 8 PLUS!!
that is BAD!!!
CRAP!!
I want to SLEEP LONGER!!!!!

Today, went to MARIE's house
to learn how to sew stitches
HAHAHAH
seriously!!
LEARN SEWING??
like WHAT????
HAHAAH
Quite FUN actually!!!
HAHAHAHA

Common TEST next WEEK!!
CRAP!!
I need a HOLE to hide!
HAHAAHAH

Lost my sense of HAPPINESS

2009-02-19T18:13:00.006+08:00

I want a new begininning
Everything seems like a mess NOW
I dun know what to SAY
Things just dun WORK out the way I thought it will
DISASTER

Is that awkward SILENCE
I am afraid of it!!
I just dun feel RIGHT
I feel ODD
like something is very WEIRD or DIFFERENT
that's when laughter become FAKE.
SMILES lost its meaning
Nothing is HAPPENING right!!
I dun even know how to continue!
I dunno whether I am allowed to be happy?
The THINGS inside me are bursting out
I been stopping them
Cause I dun want to HURT anyone
I dun want them to feel what I felt
It was BAD and HEARTBREAKING
What can I say?
I am SORRY!
I dunno what to do?
It is annoying for me too!!
I have lost my sense of HAPPINESS
I cant feel it NOW?

I use to have SO MUCH of it!!
I used to LOOK forward to THURSDAY
I used to have this HAPPINESS
that nothing can describe or STOP IT
OR BREAK it.
I used to play TENNIS for u
I still keep all this PHOTOS
i dunno why?
Not like it will make me HAPPY
actually It made me WORST.
But I properly TOOK and KEPT it
cause I know u were there.
and u will FOREVER be there in the BACKGROUD.
I just know it.
It's been ALMOST a year NOW.
I know where u are
BUT in just 9 more months
I will never be able to FIND you
ANYMORE.

FATE LESS
one word!
that can explain I feel just now
I admitted it MYSELF
cause i know!
AND I am too TIRED to CHANGE that FACT
I am going to LEAVE it ALONE
I dun want to WASTE my time on it ANYMORE
It do me NO GOOD!
AT ALL?
AT ALL

I am holding to the last branch of a tree
if it falls,
I know for sure
I will fall with it.

Lord
I hate change.
I really dun
I know u want me to get out of my comfort zone
I am trying
everything is happening too fast
I can hardly find a steady spot to land on
I know there are plenty of problems coming my way
I know I will not be able to withstand all of them ALONE
But Lord,
I put my truth in You
With You, everything is possible
You will scare those problems away
Amen.

2009-02-18T22:50:00.002+08:00

Let me BE!!
I dun want to go on anymore
What is the point of smiling and acting happy
when I am not at all?
It dun make sense?

I want to GO back!
I want to see u again the last time
I REGRET doing what I did
that was when I am very HAPPY
REALLY REALLY
nothing can describe it!
I dunno why I thought of u again
the sun
the tennis court
the laughter
the smile
the voice
I miss them
I miss you

Many things happened today
and i said things i shouldn't say
but i saw what i wanted to see
limping

I want to be like LAST TIME
so happy
but nothing is the SAME
I keep on comforting myself
its not HELPING
at all!
give me a break please
I am sorry!
I really didn't mean what I mean
I am really really SORRY

I dun want to be like that either

2009-02-16T22:31:00.009+08:00

Dun keep me in suspense!
Dun keep me in the dark!
Dun treat me like IDIOT!
cause I'm NOT!!
I want the truth!!
I WANT it!!

SORRY I am really not in
A GOOD MOOD!!
But here are some photos!!
(:
I am too BUSY to BLOG about stuff
So I am letting the pics do the TALKING.

I shall continue another TIME!!
BYE!!
NIGHTS!!
(:

LALAALALA!

2009-02-10T14:55:00.016+08:00

HEY HEY!!
I shall continue on my ORIENTATION CAMP!!
I am TOO LAZY to upload all the photos in HERE!!
Just go Facebook and see!!
I been TAGGED to some of the albums!!
HAHAH
HERE are some that I took from my PHONE!!
so easier to upload (:
BALLOONS!! LOVE THEM!!
MY PATROL!! the PATROL LEADER AHEM. in the middle!! (:
FLOWERPECKER!!
MY PATROL SECOND!! (:

ON monday,
ME and JOY went to volunteer again!!
CAUSE must complete my 20 hours!!
THERE
we saw that CUTE BOY!!
HE is too fast!! CANT catch HIM!!

JOY insisted that I put this UP!! HER DRAWING!!
For once, the MIRRORS are too short for me!!
Who says I cant play POOL?
ERR where is the Stick and BALLS?
Joy is playing the PIANO!!
Jolene is trying to play. But FAIL!!! HAHAHAHAH (:
ERR. for your info= art and fun is the name of this white board!! (:
HMM?
LIKE WHAT?!!
WHAT!! No wonder i reply this!!
AGREED!!??
OKAY.. LAME-NESS!!
CAUGHT one unglam shot!!
(:
Jolene's at 44th street Children's CLUB!! (:
THE restroom for staff and volunteers!!
AND JOY is....
Reaching for the rainbow in there!!??
HAHAAH
DEPRIVED CHILDHOOD!!
Go helicopter!! ROOM ROOM!
CAUGHT Joy reading this so attentively
Look carefully at the TITLE!
NEVERMIND.
Joy will hint u what it is!!
She loves this book!!

OH YA!!
Today had to host the JAPANESE STUDENTS
then were so NICE!!
HAHAAHAH!!
But it was SUPER TIRING!!!
HAHAHHAH
But miss alot of LESSONs!!
YES!!

YAY!!!
AMANDA is teaching the GUITAR!!
HAHAHAHA
she say she dun know MUCH!!
BUT who cares!!
I must PUT my cousin's guitar in good USE
hahahahha
I need to buy that PIT!!
CRAP must wait till SAT!!
since end of last month when i started learning
till now still dun have PIT la!!
I actually wanted to learn myself
but asking AMANDA brings no HARM!!
So try lor!!
HAHAHA(:

And the skin of my fingers all PEELING!!
OH NO!!!
quite painful!!!
going AMANDA's house on THURSDAY!!
CANT wait!!
But before THURSDAY!!
i have two TEST la!!
SPOILER!!
AMATH test tomorrow
and
EMATH test the following DAY!!

WHAT a WEEK??
OH NO!!
VALENTINE's day present haven't make!!
OH NO!!
this is BAD!!
LIKE no time???!!!??!!

OKAY!
I need to get started
with my revision for tomorrow's test
and my SS CAJs
TAWGS are lacking too!!
planning to also do my SS HW!!
LOTS of stuff to DO!!
OHHH MAN!!!!!
BUT nevermind...
tomorrow school is LATER!!
YES!!
AWESOME!! (:

I really want to believe that my dreams can happen some day
But now I know they will never happen
NEVER.
I really wish I have the courage to do what I want to do!!
If I do have the courage,
I would have done that so long AGO
It's the fear of rejection!!
I dun dare to!!
I dun want to get rejected!!
Dun everyone thinks that way?
OR is it only me?
it doesn't matter.
U dun need to talk, joke, laugh and walk
or anything of that sort.
staring at you makes all the difference.
seeing you being yourself makes me smile.
I just know that just you can make me happy

WHAT A WEEK!!

2009-02-08T22:50:00.002+08:00

This WEEK have been A real BUSY one!!!
I was GOING NUTS
alright!!
hahahah

Let me start on FRIDAY!
HHAAHAH
SCHOOL was as USUAL!!
TILL after that
HAHA
HAD orientation CAMP!!
AWESOME!!!!
We had to plan MOST of the things
SO YA!!
BUSY BUSY
STRESS STRESS
testwork was BORING!!
had to stare at them do their BOOKLETS!!
scolded a few of them too!!
SORRY!!
I was really not in a GOOD MOOD!!
(:

WENT for DINNER at the MARKET!!
in our guides u!!
HAHAAHAh
WEIRD!!
the BLUE PEEPS!!
SAW the block 98 PEOPLE!!
I think they will be wondering why am I
with a group of 10 blue PEEPS!!
MY PATROL ROCKS!!!
with my two new sec ONEs!!
10 people is PRETTY ALOT!!
HAHAHA

we had to WATCH some movie
called VANISHED!!
SCARY MOVIE somemore!!
I was so SCARED that
I was covering myself half the TIME!!
I was too freaked OUT!
hahaha

SAT MORNING
TIRED!
RESTNESS!
back pain!!
sleeping in a SLEEPING is
UNCOMFORTABLE!!
did some LAME morning exercise!
ATE BREAKFAST = PRATA+ICE MILO
typical!
HAHAH

STATION GAMES was fun
me and JAS was in charge of some station
THAT was in the SUN!!
SUPER HOT!!
took LOTS of PICs!!
ROCK!

came back HOME!
didn't get to REST can!
UNPACK!
went to CHURCH!
to sit around for
err 15mins
RUSH FOR TUITION!
BLAH BLAH BLAH...
came back!!
in the middle of livegroup
HAHAHA
briefing on VALENTINE'S
I think!!
HAHAHAH
had one song
FORGOT what it's called!!
CRAP!!

rushed back home
went to my neighbour's house
for DINNER
YUM!!
SUPER TIRED!!!
really couldn't take it already
LIKE ZERO ENERGY LEVEL
fell asleep on my bed
like IMEDIATELY after I came back!
HAHAHA

SUNDAY was MADNESS!
woke up like 10plus!!
the phone kept on RINGING
bet they could hear my SLEEPY voice!!
i was like HUH?
HELLO?
HUH..
OH..
HMM..
OKAY..
ER..
OKAY..
BYE BYE.
back on the bed!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

dad and mum brought me to the
Nike promotion at the SINGAPORE EXPO
cause I no more sport shoes
old one BROKE!
HAHAHA
the PLACE ROCK!!
alot of STUFF!!
BROUGHT.
SHOES duh
a JACKET
and ***
hahahaaha
saw JETHRO and JAVAN
at singapore expo!!
HAHAAH
FUNNY!!
see them there!!

OKAY
I need to sleep!!

YOU CAN!

2009-02-05T23:25:00.005+08:00

'Miracles happen to those who BELIEVES'
This SENTENCE is SO TRUE!!
SO everyone who have doubts must clear them!!
LIKE ME!!
HAHAHAHAAH
clearing in PROGESS..
... ... ... ...
OKAY DONE!!

HEY HEY
AMANDA!!!!
U can do it!!!!!
AHHH!!
I feel so sad that u are sad.
U are always happy when I'm sad!!
HAHAHAH
God is in control MUMMY.
I dunno what u are going through!!
BUT just let God lift you UP
The feeling ROCKS!!
HAHAHAHA

OKAY.
What did I do today?
HMM
I am in a BIT of RUSH
tomorrow have orientation camp
and I haven't pack my BAG!
SO YA!!
THURSDAY is a LONG DAY
But God pull me through it!!
DIDN'T feel sleepy AT ALL!!
although I slept at like 1am?
OKAY..
went to Bugis with JOY to find SHOES
peep-toe
I totally think that PLACE was WRONG
cause there are hardly any shoes that
fit me and JOY's UNIQUE liking!
HAHAHAAH
I brought my BIO EXCRETION notes to read
so that I am still READING STH
then I will so feel so BAD!!
I am SO NOT GOING TO go OUT shopping
I went OUT so many times
AND its BAD!!
tomorrow is FRIDAY
I NEED TO PACK MY CAMP BAG
BYE!!!
NITES!! (:

Cheerfulness

2009-02-03T15:56:00.004+08:00

Cheerfulness is what I desire!!
I want to get back to what I am before
I am going to try that AGAIN.
BACK when everything is EASIER to understand.

Friday is my ORIENTATION CAMP!!
till saturday!!
SURELY going to go NUTS!!
HAHAHAHA
But I know its going to be FUN!!!
YAY!!
Valentine's Day is coming!!
YES!!!
CANT wait!!
although I know I am not going to get much gifts
hahahahaahahaah
STILL think of what to GIVE!!
hahahaahah
AND that Saturday is the ONLY SAT!!
I can STAY for church like the WHOLE TIME!!
not rushing for TUITION!!
hahahahaha
YES!!!
Dress with HEELS!!
AWESOME!!
Heard the GUYS are to wear BLOUSES!!
HAHAHHAH
Interesting!!!
HAHAHA
I sometimes wonder when I will go nuts and to tell u the TRUTH!
I cant wait for that to HAPPEN.
wonder what is your reaction.
I know when I will do it.
I already decided on a date due to all that.

THE REAL ME by Natalie Grant
Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache,will this glass house break?
How much will they take before I'm empty
Do I let it show,does anybody know

Chorus:
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin,broken from within
Unveil completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Painted on,life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of the song and dance
Living a charade,always on parade
What a mess I've made of my exsistence
But you love me even now
And still I see somehow

Chorus

Wonderful,beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry
I just wanna be me

One by one

2009-02-01T14:13:00.003+08:00

Why sunday's always come so FAST!!!
MAN!!
it's annoying!
ANYWAY,
here are the photos
when me and my sister were at my cousin's party
NICE FOOD!!
hhaah

At the SWIMMING POOL

PHYSICS TEST tomorrow!!
OKAY!!
STUDY TIME!!!!
(:

I want to be STRONGER

2009-02-01T00:29:00.005+08:00

I want to be stronger.
I want to overcome.
I thought I could handle things already!
I thought I am strong enough
GUESS it was not I wanted

WELL.
Today started FINE
What else can I say?
Went to parkway with AVELINE and JOY
to BUY presents!!
YAY!!!
We spend most of the time trying to contact
AMANDA (:
hahahahahaahaha
I think we called almost everyone having band practice
CRAP
hahahahahaha
then YUPP!!
WENT to church
YAY!!
finally after 12 DAYS!
went to see with all the aunts
and talk about LAME stuff
FRIES plastic bags?
hahahaaha
SUPER FUNNY!!!!
hahahaahahaha
I laugh till I have a tummy ache!!!
SUPER RETARTED
Hmm.
dunno who said I very FREE???
hahaha
I am so NOT lor!!
I was thinking of a reply
but it too so LONG
hahahha
so in the end,
just WAVE lor!!
hahahahahahaha
then MORE lame JOKES!!!!
after that DRAGGED my feet to my TUITION
EARLY
for once!!
AMAZING!!
BLAH BLAH BLAH
... ... ...
CAME back.
at around 6.45??
the teacher OVERSHORT the timing
hmm.
the timing i came in was PRETTY weird?
everyone was already at the altar praying
should have came in EARLIER!!!
so all I can do
was to sit there like a DUMBIE!
and pray on my own
only till the songs then I joined in!!
OHH
I must thank TRACY for praying for me!!
SONGs was AWESOME
I think I dun know alot of songs already?
that's BAD!
then valentine's STUFF!!
I already PLANNED what to WEAR
MY FLORAL DRESS!!
YES!
LOVE IT.
then PASTOR KENNY started giving the forms
for WATER BAPTISM
that's when the devil got hold of me
I couldn't fight back
it STRIKE me
why I dun have a sheet?
why cant I go?
why they can?
the forms suddenly seem to
fly past my eyes here and there
I couldn't take it!
SO I ran to the toilet.
and YA
dun need to explain that
it happened a few times

it seems like everything is alright
then when the troubles surfaces
that's when there is a test of strength
this time
its ANGER
it was bursting out my head
I hate it!!
It makes it hard for me to THINK
why are the problems coming one by one
why cant I overcome it
I dun want to cry in church anymore.
then I rather save my tears and not even COME
it seems only in church
I will be so sad
I really feel like not coming at all
maybe I will feel better
I will not see the forms
hear the word sunday service, ministry
think of water baptism
remind myself of my life
but there are still things
that is bringing me back in
I dunno how long will they last
once they fade, i will fade with them

the problems are appearing one by one
I must fight BACK!!
but sometimes
the problems wins
I will lose
I dun wan that to happen anymore
I will take my encouraging notes
and WHACK the problems!!!!
hahahahaahah

AMANDA MUMMY rocks!!
hahahahah
she is really like my mummy.
she knows when I am going to
like BURST
she was my portable encouraging notes
cause i didn't bring them today
she walked me all the way to the BUS STOP
and think without her encouragement just now
I think i would have just walk to
the front of the bus
and kill myself
hahahhaha
JUST JOKING
I am not so DUMB
ANGER is SIN!
smile JOLENE
CHILL PILL!!
HAHAHAHAAH

Lord,
make me stronger.
I want to withstand all this.
But my own strength is NOTHING
I keep on falling but I will stand up again
I want to be stronger emotionally
Amen

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

2009-01-26T23:45:00.007+08:00

As I was saying yesterday,
about the WALK thing.
The WALK thing really applies to the things
I am going through
The WALK itself is like this year
life is TOUGH, STRESSFUL.
But I must remember that after the WHOLE thing
I will be very HAPPY!!
and RELAXED again.
it's like the feeling when u reached the destination
for all the 7 days
It's like I'm a nomad.
I settle in wherever I reach
It maybe uncomfortable and weird
BUT I bear with it!!!
and MOVE ON..

The incident of the LONG HIGHWAY
is LONG, BORING and
everything looks the SAME
It's like I'm LOST
But after the highway
I will definitely reach the end of it
there will be a END for everything!!
YES!!
So must be patient!!

And for the TV..
Its like telling me that even if
u are LOCKED from EVERYTHING!
U must still appreciate the little that U have!
Some how, I know people reading this WILL
so not GET IT?
but it is a REMINDER for me la (:
hahahahahahhaH

here are the PHOTOS we took when
we were shopping on SAT
although I'll not call it shopping..
Dun ask me why I am not in this PHOTO
OHH i know
It was because I was giving some directions to some people
who was heading for Boon Keng
dunno why they are so LOST!!?? HAHHAAA
AND there, I popped back IN (:
Individual PHOTOS?
WHOSE idea is this???!
SO LAME!!! AHH
EVERYONE so UNGLAM.
EVIDENCE: the 'always reveal myself QUEEN'
UH.. WHAT is RACHEL staring at??
OH MAN!!
SHE is rolling EYES at us!!
FASTER ROLL BACK!!!
HAHAAHAH
YOGES look so contented and HAPPY! hahah
She has the 'HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR' smile (:(:

NEXT is the PHOTOS I took today
WHILE visiting my relatives
We were supposed to WAKE up at 8.30am
BUT we woke up at 9.30am
it was very FUNNY
I saw the time, then dashed out of the room
like I am LATE for school like THAT
MY hair was u know MESSY?!?!
TOTALLY indescribable
ahahahhhaahaha
I visited a TOTAL of 6 HOUSES
KILLED ME!!
it was SUPER TIRING
I got a BAD headache!!
so to stop the HEADACHE
this is what we DID
(It didn't even heal my headache)

There is MANY MANY more!! But some is in my SISTER's phone hahhaa and SOME is too UNGLAM to display!! All I know is that I drank 2-3 bowls of dessert and ALOT ALOT ALOT of goodies!! hahahahhaaha It's close to 1AM!! I better SLEEP now!! (:

The journey is TOUGH.

2009-01-25T14:36:00.003+08:00

This picture reminds me of 7 day WALK
where my guides company had to walk around Singapore
in 7 days
The journey was unbearable
PAINFUL, tiring, HARD.
That actually tested my determination to HOLD on!!
It was really a STRUGGLE with myself
the places we WALKED are like
HIGH WAYS, ROADS, UNEVEN PATHWAYS
some places do not even have a pathway!!
I remembered once.
we had to walk through a HIGHWAY
from i think YIO CHU KANG to dunno where
It was a LONG journey
everything looked the same
even after miles and miles of walking
U seem to be like walking on the spot
nothing changes
the same few STREET LAMPS
It was never ending.
But we held on!!
ALL of us.
pulling each other on
as we approached our destination.
and the speed we were going is like CLOSE to jogging?
not the strolling KIND.
This was when WALKING starts to be a CHORE
every step gives me MUSCLE CRAMPS
I would take EVERY opportunity to rest
the funny part was the TV
We were eating our dinner somewhere
and there was a TV.
My patrol was like so AMAZED with the TV
since we were locked from
a lot of technology for a PRETTY long time
hahhah

Although, it may be a LITTLE late to REFLECT!
I really learnt ALOT from this WALK.
I have to go already
shall talk about that LATER!!
(:
BYE!

REFLECTION

2009-01-24T22:15:00.004+08:00

I am so LAZY to blog already...
hahahahaha
OKAY!!
Life was BORING
like DUH..
nothing much to blog about..
TILL FRIDAY!!!

Friday was the end of the WEEK!!
The sec 2s and 4s guides were involved in
Old Folks thing
We had to welcome them to SAC
then help them to the HALL
to watch the CHINESE NEW YEAR performance
there were 24 elders
and we brought them down the bus
then brought them to the canteen to eat their tea break
before the performance!!
I could remember those smiles on their FACES!!
They were so HAPPY and CHEERFUL
although they came from some home
they still tried their BEST to smile and cheer
so that things are not so DIFFICULT for us
to communicate with them
I talked to many of them
AND most of them have pretty sad lives
ONE of them even told me that even though
she have alot of children
all her children did not come to visit her
and her husband, 76 years old and is still working
so SAD..
well
especially when i sent them off
even when they were on the bus already!
they still continue WAVING at us!!!
LIKE CRAZY!!
hahahhah
so cute of them to do that!!
I was so TOUCHED by them man!!!
I hope next time
my children will not send me to a HOME man!!
I want to live with my husband(if I have one)
in a small house!!
hahahahaah

well today..
was GREAT!
Woke up early to WASH the toilet
then went out with
AVELINE, JOY, GLENDA, YOGES and RACHEL
this is all the GIRLS??
hahahha
met at FAR EAST!
I think for like 15 mins
then we left for BUGIS

I have SUPER DUPER POOR!!
i thought my Ezlink got $$$$$
but there isn't much
so I was like LEFT stranded at bugis street with no money
The rest was inside there shopping
and I dun really wan to SQUEEZE back in!
so it was SCARY!!
that 55 cents!!
Thanks EZRA!!
for that 55 cents!!
hahahahahaha
I will return it to u ASAP

After my tuition,
took bus home with that 55 cents
then called my parents down for dinner
hahahah then went to Joy's house to SEE her clothes!!
HAHAHA
it was really lame!!
I KNOW!!
WE ARE lame PEOPLE!
hahaha
she finally figured out what she wants to wear
AWESOME!
hahaha

just now,
my dad, mum and me went a bit crazy
and started pumping some AIR BED!!
hahaahah
we took turns to pump
very TIRING!!
hahahh
and there was some LEAKING some where
so my dad and I used our very HANDY masking tape
to TAPE everything UP!!!
HAHAAHH YAY
so we pump for nothing for the first few mins!!
LAME-NESS!!
then i thought that watching the TV and pumping
will be better
so i pulled that air bed to the living room!
THE DUMB THING is
that the MOVIE we were watching
is some MONSTER SHOW!!
and I was PUMPING..
then the scaring PARTS came on!!
and I was so near the TV
everything felt ZOOM IN!!
hahaha so I naturally STOPPED PUMPING
and started hugging my DAD's leg!!
hahahah
AND SCREAMING!!
hahahahaha
then my dad was like
eh not scary already la
continue..
then I was still at the state of shock
until I realised I was hugging my dad's leg
for a pretty LONG time
hahahahaha
in the END!
it took so LONG!
we like GAVE up
and use excuses like let's stop and leave it
to check whether will leak
I think they are getting the ELECTRONIC PUMP!
YES!!
GOOD!!
hahahaaha

It's POINTLESS
I know that
It's pointless to me to continue to lie to myself
stopping my brain to know the real truth.
i dun want to believe that
just that I dun want to.

9 months!

2009-01-20T16:31:00.003+08:00

HEY HEY!!
School is HAHAHA!
OKAY...
Today is pretty slack!!
CAUSE there is only 4 subjects!!
YES!!
Tomorrow got SS!!
CRAP!!

OH!
Today have class commitee training
I did not really want to go
i wanted to JUST GO HOME!!
but I guess in the ned still WENT!!
very LITTLE sec 4s there!!
ahahahaahha
very PATHETIC!!!

TOMORROW is GUNITA's birthday!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Enjoy your BIRTHDAY okay!!
(:

That love and warmth numbed my pain.

2009-01-18T10:30:00.007+08:00

That BOOK.
That love and warmth numbed my pain.
I tell you!!
I love IT!!! I LOVE it like CRAZY!!
I also found and placed the encouraging notes
my dad threw away with the BOOK!!
I must really thank all the GIRLS
AMANDA mummy, YONG HUI, ESTEE, JERI, JOY bio-partner, JOVINA, LIPING, NICOLE, AVELINE, RACHEL, GLENDA, Aunt JOE, YOGES and TRACY
I must thank all of u for writing so SWEET MESSAGES to me!!
If u have no idea what I am TALKING
let me explain!
Yesterday,
after church.
AMANDA passed this book
with encouraging messages from all of the names above!!
cause remember..
My dad threw away mine, the last time!!
hahah
but these notes are much better though!!
haahahaha

I was so TOUCHED!!
It was so unexpecting!!
I was so shocked!!
I can kiss the book to SLEEP can!!!
hahahah
THANKS!!!
I love it!!
It really ENCOURAGED me!!!!
I am bring it WHERE EVER I go!!!
hahahahhaah
My constant GUIDE to encouragement.
hahhaahhh

Before I got that encouraging messages
I was PRETTY annoyed,
cause I may not be able to go for WATER Baptism!!
And I really want to go!!!
OH MAN!!
I never know when is the NEXT one coming
It goes the same for my 401 lesson!!
AHHHHHH!!
CANT stand it!!
I can feel the ANGER raising!!
UP UP UP!
CRAP.

OHH!!
Today,
woke up at 10am the same time as the church service!
hahaha
DOING work now!!
have SCIENCE TUITION later!!
AND a BBQ too!!
specially requested by me!!
I ask my teacher la!!
then she planning to invite the last year
O level people too!!
we are supposed to SERVE them I think!!
BUT nevermind
I just love the FOOD!!
hahahahah
YAY!!

But I am still not recovering from my FLU!!
So cant eat too much!!
my throat still very BAD!
hahahah

I can finally smile.
and look forward to tomorrow.
cause I know that I am not alone
God is with me and He always was
Just that I was too upset with MYSELF
that I didn't realise
But now I do
I am not going to HATE myself, my life
Now the more I hate something,
I will LOVE it more!
I will not blame
I will praise
I must really thank Pastor Kenny for bringing me back to my senses!!
He told me he will bring church to me!!!
And never let me MISS out in anything!
I was so happy!!
since I was left out in alot of STUFF!
but I shall not name them
what he said,
like brought me back to church!

I must go through this with God's strength
He will support me ALL THE WAY
I must reach the END and say
I WON!!
VICTORY is mine!!
YES!

I must BELIEVE in the spiritual ram,
then it WILL happen in the physical ram!
YES!

the MORE troubles coming my WAY,
BEWARE!
JOLENE is not a weakling ANYMORE!!
I will fight BACK!!
and WIN you all!!
I will twist those TROUBLES around!!

OHH!!
My dad suddenly very FUNNY!!
He suddenly gave me money to go buy SHOES!!!
hhahahha
FOR Chinese New Year!!!
hahahaha
I dunno wat to buy LEH?
how?
HEELS?
PATENT FLATS?
BALLET FLATS?
WEDGES?
OHH MAN!
And I want it CHEAP!!
then can save up the REST!!
hahahaah
I very lazy go out AGAIN!!!!
HOW HOW??
first time I am troubled with buying
hahhaha
WEIRD!!!
I only know it has to match my both dress!!
hahhaa
maybe a not very high heels!!
since I dun have one!!
hahah
I know it will be BLACK or white!!
hahahaH

Shall do some of my TAWG now!!
hahahhah (:

I need a BREAK!

2009-01-16T22:07:00.006+08:00

OHH OHH!!
This is a PHOTO of me and RACHEL on the bus
to TEMASEK POLY (:
hahahaha
AND on the next day,
had GUIDES!!! hahaah
It's been a week already lor!! I still never upload the photo yet
till NOW!!
hahah
ME and JASMINE figuring out how to MAKE the
MONKEY BRIDGE!!
NOTE:
it was supposed to be done by last SAT
BUT it still sits at the table in GUIDES ROOM!!
HALF DONE!!
last knot, very HARD to tie!!
AND there's no TIME!!
In the midst of tying the MONKEY BRIDGE!
we CAUGHT EZZAH sleeping in guides room!!
SENIORS SLACKING!!
hahaha no la!!
She got PARENTS' NIGHT on that day
so EXCUSED (:
CCA ORIENTATION itself!!
Played with guides very own hand-made SWING!!
LOVE IT!!
the girl behind me is AGNES!!
she is REAL STRONG!!
she can LIFT me up!!
This is an UNGLAM shots of my juniors!!! hahah
while I am swinging!!
hahaha

Today is FRIDAY!!
finally!!
Before I could say HOORAY
YAY!!
I can REST!!
I had ALOT of other STUFF to do!!
My first HEART ATTACK was when I realised that
I forgot to bring my SS Notebook
I tell u!!
I nearly JUST FAINT on the spot!!!
cause this is will be my SECOND time not bringing stuff
for SS!!
SO I WAS GOING CRAZY!!
Luckily, God saved me.
Teacher never CHECK!!
LUCKY!!!
or my PARENTS will be CALLED lor!!
SCARY!!
the first time was CAUSE I forgot to bring my WHOLE file!!
hahahahah
I think cause YESTERDAY a bit too TIRED!!
at 12 plus already,
I just started sewing some things to my GUIDES U!!
hahha
GUIDES pass very fast TODAY!
AWESOME!!
We did KNOTS and lashings
and FIRELIGHTING!!
hahahaha
My voice is still very WEIRD cause of my struck nose!
and ITCHY throat!
I had to RAISE my voice to teach my juniors the KNOTS to learn
and they REFUSED to listen?
I cant raise any louder already la!!
but in the end they did!!
LIKE FINALLY!!
cause I TOLD them OFF
and with the EX-SENIORS help!!
hahahaha
BUT remember!!
I was angry at that time not now!!
so ya (:

TOMORROW there's a meeting with the sec FOURS and the teachers
dunno whether my mum still wants to go?
hahahah
cause her school have some CONCERT of charity!
hahahah

CHURCH tomorrow TOO!
CANT WAIT!
But I still have not finish my TAWG!!
OHH NO!!
I try RUSHING!!
but like cant RITE?
there's ALOT!!
AND I am so sleepy now!!

OH NO!!
GOT alot of other work too!!!
HOW HOW?
AMATH
GEO TEST
EMATH
GOSH!
I shall wake up early tomorrow to do!!!
ahahahahha
My BREAD looks so CUTE!!
I dun even know how I eat till like that!!!
hahaahah

Jealousy.

2009-01-15T15:25:00.005+08:00

I am JEALOUS!
WOW!!
It's terrible.
everything i see reminds me of IT!!
But I cant stop it!!!
I think it will get worst!!
NOT GOOD!
every time I look at them
I will feel so IGNORED
Why ain't I in it?
WHY?
I dun want to be left out
I dun want to be left behind
I dun want to be left alone
I cant do things alone
PLEASE.
I am already left behind for many things
dun make it worst for me
I know every one wants me to hold one
succeed
and not give up!!
I want to!!
I just want to go like any other person
I just want to worship and praise
why is all this so different for me?
why cant I be like the others
so free in choosing what they want
I dun want anything else
I just want one thing
Make me normal
please make me normal
i dun wan to be different
i want to be free
every thing, every person reminds me
of what I hate
it makes me dislike myself
my life
I dun want to do that
who does?

Yes. I still believe that one day they will be saved
but at the same time
I want to just be the same
be normal
do wat others do
feel wat others feel
dun just leave me there
i dun want to wait so long
i belong here
please bring me along
i know i didn't get to go for it
but please
give me other options
just bring me along
dun just dump me there to rot
please
I dun wan to WAIT!
I want to be like other person
take watever they take
do watever they do
even if I am not there half the time
make me normal
I dun want to MISS any single bit of anything

I know I am not suppose to compare but still!!
I just dun want to miss anything!!!
I will try my best to make it!!

OKAY!!!
Let me blog about yesterday first!
SCHOOL as usual....
then went to meet EZZAH
to go for GUIDES CCA AUDITION!!
We were allowed to just peek in and ask some QUESTIONS
YEAH!!
FUN!!
but very tired
went for tuition
super sleepy!!
almost sleep
or i think i did sleep!
hahaha

TODAY is the most tiring day of the WEEK!!
cause have six subjects
and they drives me NUTS!!
hahahaha
SUPER TIRED!!
TO add on to whatever I have!!!!
my nose is running for Olympics
and my throat is a construction worker
specialized in sawing
CRAP!

i want to sleep!!
where's my ZZZZZ monster?
hhaha

Where do I belong??

2009-01-13T17:32:00.008+08:00

I feel so annoyed with MYSELF!!
I know I have to move on!!
AND WORK HARD!
But now all I want is to just sit there and cry my heart out
I know I cant do anything else.
I know others are angry at me for being like that
But I am sorry
I just cant help it.
I am not as strong as u
I am not as determined as u
I dun BLAME u!
U were helping me!
I know!! THANKS!!! (:
HOPE u will NOT be ANGRY with me
I am sorry..
I wasn't in the MOOD.
BUT I am trying already
TRYING very hard
believe me I am trying!!
I can SMILE when no one remind me of ANYTHING
so please DUN!!
DUN!!
I still cant HANDLE it!!
I am sorry I can only CRY!
there is nothing I can do!
there is nothing I can say!
I know I must believe!!
I know I must have faith!!
I guess this is really a test of faith!
a TEST for ME!!
I know I want to overcome it!!
I want to!
BUT at that point,
I feel that my goal is blurring
it is FADING.
disappearing into a MILLION PLACES!!
Why is the place that I once look forward to go to
MAKING me sadder and
making me CRY??
It is that reason.
I know.
I thought I could handle it!
I was WRONG!
But I know it is not WORTHWHILE to just give up like that
So I will GET UP and TRY AGAIN!!
and TRY TRY!!
until I succeed!!

JOLENE!!
STOP CRYING!!
STOP SIGHING!!
STOP WAILING!!
START MUGGING!!
I know u are sad about that issue..
maybe it is telling u something
that things cant be FORCED!
Let it be JOLENE!
stop clinging to it!!
U will hurt yourself MORE!
I know U so want to be inside too!!
I know that.
BUT u cant!!
maybe u just dun BELONG there!
I know your heart broke into MANY MANY pieces.
But u can still pick them up ONE by ONE!!
and START again!
START afresh!
OKAY Jolene!!
STOP DREAMING jolene!
WAKE UP!!
U dun know where u belong.
But u will find out next year!
WAIT patiently!!
BY next year!!
u will have STRONGER faith!
U will RAISE up!!
JOLENE!!
I dun ALLOW u to CRY ever again!!
I dun allow u to sigh!
or GIVE UP!!
or be LAZY!!
JOLENE must always SMILE and be HAPPY!!!
YEAH!!
U can DO it!!!
I know u can!!

The MEANING

2009-01-12T22:08:00.002+08:00

HEY HEY!!
This is ZHI TING's Birthday PARTY!!
it was AWESOME!!
I am sure EVERYONE had FUN!!!
hahahahah

OKAY..
Went out with my SISTER
to buy CHINESE NEW YEAR CLOTHES!!
hahahahaah
I bought a girly DRESS
and a FUNKY dress!!
I will WEAR them SOON!!!
YAY!!
LOVE IT!!
okay..
got to SLEEP!!
BYE!!
(:

I am LOST!!

2009-01-09T21:51:00.004+08:00

LEAD me
I am LOST!
I really dunno why to go Lord
Help me and bring me to a PLACE where I really want to go
I feel guilty!
VERY guilty!
I will try!!
BUT the laziness always make me FAIL
I want to succeed.
SUCCEED!
I will not FEAR!!
I will not be fearful of being HURT!
I must STAND UP for what I believe IN!
Although I dun sound very HAPPY
This is one HAPPY MOMENT
I was PLAYING with the WEBCAM with my SISTER!!
hahahha
and EATING BISCUITS for supper!!
hahahahahaha
YUM!

CCA today.
very TIRED..
scream ALOT today
I think I very FIERCE today.
hahahahaha
THE COOLEST MOMENT
was when I was at the 2nd level GUIDES room
then from there
I SHOUTED to the sec THREES
which was like half a canteen AWAY!!
hahahaha
I told them to come UP in 5 MINS
THEN they RAN lor!!
GOOD!! (:
hahahahaahah
I never knew my voice so LOUD.
OKAY.
I must say if I shouted at anyone today.
dun blame me OKAY
I am sorry
hahahahah
I didn't mean it la!
So dun RUN AWAY from me when u see me!!
hahahh

I am very confused
I dunno where to go after O levels
I know PEOPLE will think i DUMB
think SO EARLY!!
but this is JOLENE
I need a TARGET, then I will like WORK towards it!!
but my mum always say
DO VERY VERY WELL then can choose
hahahah
YEAH
I know
PROVIDED .....
okay..

tomorrow's CCA Orientation
in charge of ROPE LADDER and SWING
I think
hahahahah
GOT 30 mins of church TOMORROW!!
YAY!!
HOORAY!!!
I think i going church to STUDY..
SEE HOW!
hahahahah
(:

ALERT and AWAKE!!

2009-01-06T16:05:00.004+08:00

HEY HEY!!
I have decided that instead of finding pictures from the web
to put at the start of every post!!
I shall put my PAST HAPPY photos!!!
hhahahaha
Some maybe very UGLY or DUMB!!
But i like it SO..
ahahahah
This photo above is LIKE AGES ago!!!
I think it is when I'm SEC ONE??
OH NO!!
NERD NERD ALERT!!
OH! this is AFTER my MAKEOVER I think!
hahahaaha
My friends came to my house with a CAKE to celebrate my BIRTHDAY!
They are AWESOME people!
that was my first time i celebrated my BIRTHDAY with candles!!
AMAZING rite??
12years of my life without any candles..
Although now we are not in the SAME CLASS anymore!!
I will REMEMBER them FOREVER for making my 13th birthday
SO MEMORABLE!!!
hahaahhaha

OKAY..
TODAY was okay!!
some lesson STARTED already..
Amath, Geography and Chinese
I was WIDE awake!!
CAUSE yesterday slept EARLY!!
12.oo!!
HAHAA
not very EARLY!!
MY MUM WAS SCREAMING AT ME TO SLEEP
It's AMAZING!!
hahaahahaahah
I did what I need to do!!
write notes, listen and BLAH BLAH!!
it's like every 5mins
I will hear this TWO WORDS that can
FREAK me OUT till I faint
"O LEVELS!!"
I really dunno how to handle the stress when the exams are nearing!!
I will have this ULTRA blur and worried FACE!!
U know I get STRESSED UP easily
SO ya!!
dying already!
CRAP!
I am going to START reading dictionaries!!
......
YES I'm not kidding. I'm not very SURE how to do it though
If u all have any tips on O levels
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me
U will be doing a GREAT FAVOR!!!
AND I will love u like CRAZY!!!!
OKAY..
i mean thank u like crazy..that sounds much better!!
i shall start DOING my SS stuff and writing NOTES!!
ten years series TOO!!

I think I must really PULL UP MY SOCKS already!!
AND WORK like super super HARD!!
so
i dun think i will be blogging that often from now on!!
hahahaha
i will try to COME ONLINE though
it's the typing of POST that occupy quite a lot of TIME
hahahahaha
YEAH!
AHHHHHH!!
STUDY STUDY STUDY!
MUG MUG MUG!

HAPPY HAPPY!!

2009-01-05T18:06:00.007+08:00

HEY HEY!!! I am BACK!!
I know I have not finish my POST the last time!
BUT I am really too LAZY to continue that!
hahahaahaha
OHH all I want to REMEMBER is
SATURDAY!!!
THAT was my BEST SAT
this year
It was GREAT!!
Although i did not made it for the WHOLE youth!!
I only manage to hear ONE SONG!!
hahhaah
but they played ANOTHER song for ME!!!
LIKE come on!!
I ran all the way DOWN la!!!
I deserve MORE than 1 SONG!!
hahahahaah
After church!
I only have 15 mins of it!!
i realised from this year on i can only have the most 1/2hr of church
every week!!
It was REALLY heart breaking!!
i really could not take it!!!
I feel like just staying in church to enjoy the feeling!
the feeling is indescribable.
it just ROCKS!!!
It TOTALLY KILLED ME!!!!

OKAY.....
then what I never expect is that!!
everyone was encouraging and cheering me up!!
i never felt so LOVED before!!!
never met so many people who CARED so much
they just sat on the carpet and cheer me ON!!
I really LOVE them man!!!!
THERE WERE ALOT OF PEOPLE so
i cant really remember..
But I must thank AMANDA!!!
She helped me ALOT!!
hahhaah
SO I SHALL not LET God and anyone DOWN!!!
I MUST PULL THROUGH THIS!!
hahahaha
From today ONWARDS!!!
I can only think POSITIVE!!
NO NEGATIVE!!
ahahahahahah
Must throw all those BAD THOUGHTS away!!
hahaha
here's your chance to catch me if I have any BAD THOUGHTs!!
surely have one LOR!!
hahahaahaha
so here are some PHOTOS that made me HAPPY!!
Some maybe very unglam
but I know i was FEELING HAPPY when it was TAKEN!
hhahaaha
Guides BBQ!! I love BBQ!! CHURCH!! (:
Guides CHALET!!
Church OUTING!!! (:
MY FATHER HAMSTER!! I miss u!!!
I know u are up there!! (:
LINEY!!! I miss u too!!!
FOR YOUR INFO AGAIN!!!
They all die already!!
HAHA(:
YEAH!!
i really MISS THEM!!!
they make me SMILE!! (:
OKAY!!
something HAPPENED!!
and all the other PHOTOS were erased!!
hahahhahah
nevermind!!
hahhahahaahah
HAPPY JOLENE will OVERCOME all obstacles this YEAR!!
REJOICES!!
DID flag-raising!!
I SUCCEEDED!!
hahahahah
for your INFO: I been doing that for like close to 1 year!!
hahahhah
still cant master the SKILL!!
I'll try!!
hahahaahah
THIS IS my POOPY!!!
MY FAVOURITE HAMSTER!!
HE left me EARLY!!
I MISS HIS HANDSOME EYES!!!

CRAP!!

2009-01-02T22:29:00.003+08:00

HEY HEY!!
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!
CRAP!!!
I could so feel the STRESS!!!!
I feel OLD!!
Sec FOUR leh!!!
oldest already!!
3 years has PASSED!!
AMAZING!!!

Let me THINK BACK!!
hahahah
Sec 1: TERRIBLE!! I look like a NERD!!! hahahahah
even my SENIORS ask me to get a makeover!!!
HEART BROKEN LOR!!!
Sec 2: FUN!! But i dun really like my CLASS!!
Sec 3: STRESSFUL!! Alot of STRESS and Responsibility!! DUNNO how to COPE!!
Sec 4: CRAP!! There is so MUCH happening!! MORE stress and responsibility!! But can cope better!! hahhah

This year is going to be CRAP!!!
Seriously,
CANT go CHURCH!
O LEVELS
President Guide Award!
MY!!
I cant TAKE IT!!
People going SCHOOL!!
I like going BATTLE FIELD!!!
I MUST DO WELL!!!!
PROVE TO MY DAD!!
BUT SOMETIMES it's HARD!!!
REAL HARD!!
I am staring at my desk's encouraging NOTES again.
SEARCHING for more Strength!!!
OH MAN!!
I need more encouragement to PULL through this TEST!!!
I cannot do on my OWN!!
I need YOU God.
WALK with me
LEAD me

My mum suddenly scolding me for GOING for TUITION!!
LIKE WOW?
like HELLO!!!
If your daughter is SUPER smart, u dun need to give her TUITION!
BUT she is NOT!!
she is STUPID!!!!
DUMB!!!!
SLOW!!!!!
RETARTED!!!!!!
when I need the tuition the MOST!
she blames me for IT!!
like I dun have a CHOICE!!!
DAMN!
She was like blaming EVERYTHING on me
cause she BAD MOOD!!
LIKE WAT!
SOMEtimes I feel STUPID,
cause all I do is CRY
SOB!!
what else can I do!!
CANNOT talk BACK wat!
CRAP!!

I have no mood to blog in detail
due to my mum
in short
there's meeting today!
sadly
till 6pm!!
all I remembered was that all the SEC fours leaders had to talk with the SEC twos
like see how they are feeling and everything!!
YA!!
VERY SHY sec 2s
then
was supposed to go to JASMINE KOH's surprise BBQ PARTY
In the end,
cannot go
MY mum is still HUNTING me over the tuition.
CRAP!!
My mum is like wat?
threatening me?
that if I dun do well for my PHY and CHEM
I cant go for tuition!!
OKAY!!
I really REALLY have no mood to continue..
BYE!!

I GIVE UP!!!

2008-12-31T11:52:00.007+08:00

Yesterday!!!
Met RACHEL, AVELINE, JOY, YOGES at Bugis
to BUY clothes for AVELINE!!
hahahhaah
We walked around and FINALLY BOUGHT
a nice SHIRT
and also a NECKLACE more like a chain from DIVA
It was REAL NICE!!!
I heard AMANDA saying that
that shirt and necklace is so JOLENE!!
LIKE of course!
hahahahah
I must make sure I see AVELINE wearing that SHIRT!!!
I MUST!!
hahahahha

then after that
AVELINE and RACHEL needed to go POPULAR
And RACHEL wanted to TREAT us GELARE
so we wanted to go HOUGANG cause have
both Popular and Gelare.
But in the END!
SMART RACHEL thought of something ELSE
We went PS to eat Gelare
then go PARKWAY Popular!!
hahaahaha
so we rushed there
and YEAH!!
this are the PHOTOS we TOOK!! (:
U know why the FIRST FEW photos I am not in IT!!
CAUSE POOR JOLENE was ORDERING the FOOD!
AND they just slack and take PHOTO!!??
I had to WALK like 3 rounds back to the TABLE
cause some flavours not there
and dunno whether they WANTED sauce!!
VERY TIRING lor!!
walk here walk there!!
BUT for the WAFFLE!
ITs worth it!!
JUST exercising BEFORE eating!!
hahahhah

I MUST THANK RACHEL FOR THE TREAT!!!
THANK YOU RACHEL!! LOVE YOU!!
THE WAFFLES WERE GOOD!!
(:(:
JOY and YOGES!!
JOY's PINK PANTHER!!
AVELINE and RACHEL. They love posing with their BOTTLES??
hahhaahah
GROUP PHOTO!! finally back from ordering!! (:

It's annoying when u are the camera man
Your face will always be CUT into HALF!!

READY TO EAT!! my stomach was REALLY growling!! hahah
The FOOD!! WAFFLE with ICE-CREAM!! YUM!!
Just WITHIN seconds!!
THERE are gone!!
SERIOUSLY, we eat like REAL FAST!!
maybe because we SHORT of time too!!
hahahaha

TOILET SHOT!
CAME back home!
AND then went to AMANDA's house to watch HSM 2
hahahahah
it was QUITE late by the time I came back!
AROUND 11
hahahha
continue my ESSAYS!!
and I was so REFLECTING..
maybe giving up is the BEST way!!
then I will concentrate in my STUDIES!
and maybe save myself from some HEARTBREAK and TEARS
I am really TIRED!
i could be happy!!
i should be happy!!
i dun even know how to help myself
i just feel like crying my brains out
so that I will not think so MUCH
i am tired of believing
i always thought that if i keep believing everything will be okay
everything i thought will happen if I believe is not happening
All those memories must VANISH
They must!
It's VERY hard to let go!!!
my brain doesn't want to
but my heart cannot take another fall

NEXT YEAR!!
I must work HARD!!
No MATTER how HARD it is!!
I must end THIS PROBLEM before 2008
I MUST CONCENTRATE!!!
NOTHING's going to STOP ME!!
I must BRAIN WASH myself!
DEEP DOWN
I know
I dun want 2009 to START!!
But everything happen for a REASON!!
There is nothing to look FORWARD to!!
BUT
I know I have think POSITIVE!!
I must not be SAD over the PROBLEMS
I must give it to GOD!!
and think POSITIVE!!!
Remember :
LOOK UP
WAIT UP
RISE UP
(:

So to encourage MYSELF
I wrote LOTS of ENCOURAGING NOTES
and paste them EVERYWHERE
at my DESK and BED!
I shall show u CONCRETE evidence(:
MY DESK!!
YES!! I know!!
IT is MESSY!! (:(:
MY BED!! (:

HAHAHAAH!!
EVERYWHERE I go!!
I will bring these ENCOURAGEMENT everywhere too!!
hahahahaahah
GOT TO do my ESSAYS!!
I can finally SMILE!
Cause God is holding MY PROBLEMS
NOT me!!
YAY!!
(:(:(:(:(:

I have NOTHING to say!

2008-12-29T13:54:00.004+08:00

HEY HEY!!! (:
It is very HARD for people to PLUCK up their courage to talk
and THIS ALIEN just dun seem to want to ANSWER them!!
It's annoying!
Especially when those people are trying so HARD already!!
And the ALIENS still REFUSE to continue the CONVERSATION!
Won't it makes u feel like BOXING or SLAPPING the ALIEN!!
I DO!!!
I REALLY DO!!!
So I am writing this SPECIALLY for the ALIEN!!!
PLEASE TALK!!!!!!!
OR I WILL SLAP U!!!
hahaha
JUST do SOMETHING!!
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!!!!
and OH!
I will be waiting!!!
hahaha

WELL this POST is random!
I know!!
But it makes me FEEL better!!
and there is NO HARM done either!!
SO YA!

Or next time!
I shall just SHUT UP!!
and not talk to the ALIEN ever AGAIN!!
hahaha (:
anger management...
OOPPS!
(:(:

TWO DAYS

2008-12-28T00:58:00.009+08:00

HEY HEY!!
I am finally back from my CAMP!!
hahahaahah
I am so TIRED!!
Its my last camp is CAMP CHRISTINE!!
hahaahha
Let me show u how the PLACE LOOK LIKE!! (:
THERE is a sun set!!!(:
Its BEAUTIFUL!!!
AND let me show u the BEDS!!
not as NICE as the SALVATION ARMY KIND!!
ahahaah
THE BEDS!!

THE PEOPLE!! JAS, JANICE, NATASSIA and ME!!
NATASSIA taking herself!! hahah(:(:

EZZAH at the BACK!!
MARIE going to SLEEP!! UNGLAM!

ME and JASMINE! (:

We definitely have FUN!!
the BBQ was GREAT!!
I love the HONEY GRILLED HOT DOGS!!!
YUMMY!!
LOVE it!!!
MASHMALLOWS were good too!!!
hahahaha

THEN on SAT!!
left the CAMP SITE at around 10.45
REACH school at around 11plus!
i slack in school cause too TIRED!!
so only left school at 12 plus!!
hahahhah
went to block 98 to pass EMMA my junior her poncho!!
and walked BACK with my very HEAVY BAG!!!!
hahahaha
I did not even get to REST!!
then had to just bathe and left for CHURCH!!
BUT I love going there!!
SO i dun mind!!
hahahahahaahaha

SATURDAY was just not a GOOD day for me!
i was so EMO!!
I know it was the 2 SENTENCES fault
IMAGINE!!
Just two sentences made me FALL FLAT on my FACE!!!
I was so sad.
My eyes will just water everytime i get reminded!!
then I have to run to the toilet!!
hahha
TO SAVE MYSELF OF THE EMBARRASSMENT!!
hahaahaha

It was BAD!!
I could hardly SMILE!!
PLUS, the constant need of checking of the TIME
is also DRIVING me NUTS!!
I could not really CONCENTRATE!!
I was like so STRESSED!!
It was TERRIBLE!!
BUT I gave everything to God now!!
So It is OKAY!!!!
I shall not be SAD over this matter!!
EVER AGAIN!

BUT the games was NICE!!
hahaahaha
I enjoyed it!
hahahaaha
I left for tuition like around 5.45!
hahaahahaha
the tuition is REALLY very BORING!!
I cannot take it!!
and since I did not eat my lunch!!
NO $$$
POOR!!!
I had GASTRIC!!
it was terrible can!!!
I thought I would FAINT somewhere!!
It was TERRIBLE!!
hahahahah

These are some PHOTOs we took on Christmas DAY!!
(:
The CAST of the SKIT!! (:
THE pretty GIRLS!!
THE GUYS. Ahem..
EVERYONE!!!
I love this PHOTO!!!
EVERYONE look so HAPPY and it is like a CANDID photo!!
everyone looking everywhere!!
hahaahahah

Today was AWESOME!!
the PASTOR was so GOOD!!!
and it was really very encouraging!!
I was really SAD over my dad!!
who told me today that today was the LAST TIME
i can go church on SUNDAY!!
I nearly just BREAK DOWN and cry!!
CAUSE I dun want to NOT go!!
PEOPLE are like LOOKING FORWARD for the NEXT YEAR?!
I am DRAGGING!!
CAUSE the second the clocks tick to 12am!!
MY FREEDOM is GONE!!!
I am like NOT ALLOWED to go ANYWHERE!!
IT IS PATHETIC!!

ANYWAY!!
THE trip to KFC for lunch was SO FUNNY!
although I did not eat MY LUNCH!!
hahahhah
ME, JOY, YOGES, DARYL, GIDEON, OLIVER and GERALD
was so HIGH in KFC!!
for the WRONG THINGS!!
hahaahhah
and WE played a PRANK on YOGES!!!
OLIVER and GIDEON did most of IT!!
He thought yoges to close her eyes and imagine something!!
then the REST of us left!!
leaving her alone at the TABLE
ahahahha
then she was like TALKING to NO ONE!!
while the REST of us were laughing OUTSIDE!!
haaahhahah
SUPER FUNNY!!!

I know NEXT YEAR will not BE a good YEAR for me!!
BUT I am still going to MOVE ONE
cause I will not DWELL on my differences
but give EVERYTHING to GOD
AND he will help me!!
I will be DOING everything using his STRENGTH
NOT mine!!
I must
LOOK UP!!
WAIT UP!!
RISE UP!!
and not GIVE UP!!
JOLENE CANNOT GIVE UP
JOLENE MUST NOT GIVE UP!
I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me.
(Philippians 4:13)
(:(:(:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2008-12-25T15:27:00.010+08:00

HEY HEY!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!! :):)
I think I wrote that sentence like 50 over times!!
hahaahah
CAUSE I wrote it in my CARDS!!
YEA...
TODAY,
I found OUT the REAL MEANING of CHRISTMAS!!
CHRISTMAS is not about FOOD, TURKEY(i know i love food),
Christmas TREE, HAM, CARDS.
NOO!!
CHRISTMAS is about JESUS!!!
About him being born to the earth.
to WASH our SINS
to GRANT us ETERNAL LIFE
to SET us FREE
ya!!
(:(:
They let us WATCH this VIDEO.
And I wonder where they get it from!!
VERY INSPIRING!!
It literally brought ME to TEARS
It is like God telling me to STAND FIRM,
to NOT GIVE UP just yet!
Although, I know I will not be able to come to CHURCH
that often NEXT YEAR!
and it is DRIVING me NUTS!!
I just cannot BELIEVE not being in church!!
I will have NOTHING.
NOTHING to look forward to?
I really dun know HOW I am going to SURVIVE!!

ANYWAY!
I am not going to think of THAT!!
These are the PHOTOS Rachel took at the MATCH!! (:
EVERYONE is concentrated at the MATCH!
DAVID talking to ME and JOY!! haha UNGLAM for him..
THE only few GIRLS who went to WATCH! plus ESTEE & AMANDA!!(:
THE CROWD was WOW! They look like rainbow bits of a DONUT!!
SORRY.. A bit HUNGRY(:
These PHOTO was to TAKE everyone!
BUT apparently, the people at the other SIDE dun want to be in it..
SOO YA!!
hahhahha(:(:

NOW that everyone got the CARDS!!
I can reveal some of THEM!
hahahaahah
It LOOKS NICE ya!!
If your name is not here, it should be with JOY!!
I cannot BELIEVE, I did all 51 NAMES!!
YEAH I counted..
hahahahaahah
It looks PRINTED right?
IT is actually NOT!!
I used some STENCIL with Letters on it!!
VERY TIRING can!!
hahahaahahhaha
But it was WORTH IT!!
YAY!!(:
I PURPOSELY hide the MESSAGE!!
HAHAHA!!

OHH OHH!
LAST night was AWESOME!!
I had a DINNER at my HOUSE!!
with all my relatives!
there were YUMMY chicken WINGS!!
I was eyeing at them for like the WHOLE time!!
I am like always HOLDING one WING in my HAND!
hahahaah
My mum was also TRYING to make CHEESE CAKE!!
it taste OKAY la!!
hahaahah
SO SO!!

THEN Joy like called me and
say that DEREK is planning a COUNTDOWN at OLIVER's house!!
I was LIKE cool!
hahahaahahaha
So ME and JOY met DEREK, AMOS, ESTEE and EZRA.
BEFORE going UP!!
hahahaha
It was FUN!
But I was STILL eating my CHEESE CAKE!!
AND AMOS SPRAYED some FOAM AT ME!!!
SO GOT FOAM IN MY CHEESECAKE!!
hahahahahaha
THAT was my FIRST CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN
and it ROCKS!!
THE HOUSE was CROWDED!!
hahaahahah
We were like SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROLS!!
hahaahaha
Although I dun know ALOT!!
BUT WHO GUESS!!
JUST SING ALONG!!!
hahaahah(:(:

TODAY MORNING!!
I was LATE!!
SUPER!!
DUNNO WHY I ALWAYS LATE!!
I was supposed to wake up at 7.30am
to FINISH my last 10 CARDS!!
AND in the end
I woke up at 8.43am
I could still remember!!
CAUSE yesterday my sister exchange PHONE with me
so I SET the ALARM using her phone!!
DID not EXPECT her to CHANGE BACK SO FAST!!
so end up!
SHE GOT THE ALARM!!
AND I continue SLEEPING like a PIG!!
SO I and JOY had to do it in the BUS!!
I was JOKING with DEREK last night
that he may do the CARDS in CHURCH!!
IN THE END!!
It was me INSTEAD!!
hahahahahahahah

I GOT LIKE LOTS OF GIFTS AND CARDS!!!
LOVE ALL OF U WHO GAVE ME STUFF!!
PROUDLY, I shall NAME them ALL!!
I must THANK:
RACHEL, GLENDA, TRACY, YONGHUI, YOGES, NICOLE, AVELINE, AMANDA, AMOS, DEREK, MITCHELL, NOAH, ESTEE, JAVAN, JOVINA, JERI, JOYCE(my cousin)
If your name is not INSIDE, PLEASE TELL ME
CAUSE some GIFTS have no NAME!!
hILL KNOW WHO IS IT FROM!!
hahaahahahahaha
NEXT TIME MUST ALWAYS WRITE NAME LA!!!
SO PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHO IS IT FROM!!
(:(:
I LOVE U ALL!!
U ALL MADE MY FIRST CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION ROCK!!
hahahahhah
TAKE A GLIMPSE at it!!
THEY LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL!!
hahahahah
AND THANKS for the VERY VERY VERY ENCOURAGING MESSAGES!!
I will remember them FOREVER!!
(:
ANYWAY,
I am going for GUIDES LEADERSHIP RETREAT tomorrow!!
MY LEADERSHIP RETREAT IS IN A CAMP SITE LA!!
SO SAD!!
I WANTED A CHALET!!!
WILL BE BACK ON SAT!
IN THE AFTERNOON!!
CANNOT WAIT!!
hahahah (:(: