Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Where do I belong??
5:32 PM
I feel so annoyed with MYSELF!!
I know I have to move on!!
AND WORK HARD!
But now all I want is to just sit there and cry my heart out
I know I cant do anything else.
I know others are angry at me for being like that
But I am sorry
I just cant help it.
I am not as strong as u
I am not as determined as u
I dun BLAME u!
U were helping me!
I know!! THANKS!!! (:
HOPE u will NOT be ANGRY with me
I am sorry..
I wasn't in the MOOD.
BUT I am trying already
TRYING very hard
believe me I am trying!!
I can SMILE when no one remind me of ANYTHING
so please DUN!!
DUN!!
I still cant HANDLE it!!
I am sorry I can only CRY!
there is nothing I can do!
there is nothing I can say!
I know I must believe!!
I know I must have faith!!
I guess this is really a test of faith!
a TEST for ME!!
I know I want to overcome it!!
I want to!
BUT at that point,
I feel that my goal is blurring
it is FADING.
disappearing into a MILLION PLACES!!
Why is the place that I once look forward to go to
MAKING me sadder and
making me CRY??
It is that reason.
I know.
I thought I could handle it!
I was WRONG!
But I know it is not WORTHWHILE to just give up like that
So I will GET UP and TRY AGAIN!!
and TRY TRY!!
until I succeed!!
JOLENE!!
STOP CRYING!!
STOP SIGHING!!
STOP WAILING!!
START MUGGING!!
I know u are sad about that issue..
maybe it is telling u something
that things cant be FORCED!
Let it be JOLENE!
stop clinging to it!!
U will hurt yourself MORE!
I know U so want to be inside too!!
I know that.
BUT u cant!!
maybe u just dun BELONG there!
I know your heart broke into MANY MANY pieces.
But u can still pick them up ONE by ONE!!
and START again!
START afresh!
OKAY Jolene!!
STOP DREAMING jolene!
WAKE UP!!
U dun know where u belong.
But u will find out next year!
WAIT patiently!!
BY next year!!
u will have STRONGER faith!
U will RAISE up!!
JOLENE!!
I dun ALLOW u to CRY ever again!!
I dun allow u to sigh!
or GIVE UP!!
or be LAZY!!
JOLENE must always SMILE and be HAPPY!!!
YEAH!!
U can DO it!!!
I know u can!!
